This is a question I hear all the time: Why do people walk away from love? It doesn’t make any sense. How could a soul connection love you one minute, then just walk away? Who doesn’t want love?
There are several reasons for this. Love can be terrifying. Love can come on too fast and leave the person feeling vulnerable and powerless. Love can bring out feelings of unworthiness, especially when the person has difficulty loving him/herself. The person who is walking away may have had a dysfunctional family who didn’t show them love, so they don’t know what love feels like. Love doesn’t feel comfortable. It doesn’t feel like home. Teal Swan goes into great detail about this phenomenon. Since they grew up in a love-starved environment, that’s ultimately what makes them feel secure.
A woman may have grown up with a emotionally distant father. She meets a man who falls head over heels with her. She loves him too, but because she’s not used to that feeling, she only allows herself to love him so much. He can feel that emotional distance. He fears he loves her more than she does. And because of this, he pushes the relationship onto her. It’s overwhelming. She doesn’t know how to handle it. She continues to distance herself. He pushes more. She runs. He is devastated. He wonders why she ran from the love.
All his life, he has had to push his love onto other people. He has never felt loved. He fears of being abandoned. It’s an issue he’s had since he was a child, when his parents divorced. The trauma of a divorce at a young age has scarred him. He didn’t feel emotionally safe, and that carried over into adulthood.
They mirror each other’s fears. Through their brief relationship, they are forced to face their demons. She fears love. He fears abandonment. He pushes. She pulls away. It’s an energetic dance. The energy is unbalanced between them. Because of this, they separate. They must deal with their issues separately, so they can heal and balance themselves. The relationship is over. But their spiritual connection is as strong as ever.
The man is left, feeling abandoned and devastated, mourning the end of a relationship. This is his fear. This is what he must push through to heal in this lifetime.
The woman feels terrible and guilty. She did not want to hurt him, but he came on too strong. She fears that all her future relationships will end because she can’t accept love. This is her fear. This is the obstacle she must overcome in order to heal in this lifetime.
So, yes, she walked away from love, but she only did it so she could heal that fear. He should not take it personally, but he does. His abandonment brings up feelings of unworthiness. He must heal this as well. He must learn to love himself and feel whole, even though he is without her. This is his lesson.
She must learn to love herself and feel whole as well, but she must also learn accept love from other people without feeling overwhelmed and fearful. This is her lesson.
They must learn to love themselves and find happiness from within. And they are unable to do this together. They must not blame each other or themselves for any of this. They met to heal each other’s fears. This was the purpose of their union. Even though the relationship is over, the transformation of their lives begins. This is what they are meant to do. Everything has happened for a reason.
And this is very important: The lessons must be learned and the fears healed before they are able to make the choice to have the relationship once again. No amount of calling, pining over the other, waiting, crying, blaming, resenting, hating, or begging will bring that relationship back until the lessons and healing are complete. But it has to be BOTH people, not just one. If you learn a lesson, and the other does not, you won’t have the chance of having a relationship.
If and when BOTH people achieve their goals, the energies between the two souls balance and they are drawn back together and given a choice to have the relationship again. It’s a CHOICE. It’s left to free will. It is not Spirit-driven. It is a choice between two people living in the material world, not two souls in the spiritual one. That is why some come back together and have a relationship again and others do not.
I know people who are with their soul mates or Twin Flames, as well as ones who were given the option, but for whatever reason, they decided not to have a relationship. Each group has the same thing in common: They are happy with their choices. Do not believe the tired, outdated theory that the people who have met their soul mates or Twin Flames and have decided not have a relationship with them are miserable. They are all at peace. They have healed and learned their lessons, and they realized the relationship was not the reason for their happiness: they were.