How to Live When You Feel like Dying Part 3: Soul Connection Trauma

 

Written By Monique Colette

Soul Connection Trauma

I have been through what you’re going through now. I understand the agony, the ungodly, unrelenting energetic chaos, the pull of your soul to theirs, the non-stop recurring dreams of them, the signs everywhere that only remind you of them, the heart chakra pain, the anxiety, the depression, and the feeling that you will never get through this. I want you to know that you will. But it’s going to take work on your part. You can’t give into it. You can’t wait for happiness. You have to create it yourself.

Once you meet a soul connection, your life will never be the same: It shatters you, turns you inside out, changes your cellular DNA, awakens your spiritual gifts, forces you to face your demons, unveils your shadow, drags you through a Dark Night of the Soul that will feel like death, opens your eyes to synchronicity, clears your karma, heals you, and leaves you sobbing in a pool of tears, praying to God to make the pain and ultimately, the bond to your twin go away. Your friends and family won’t understand what you’re going through. You will feel judged and ashamed that you can’t just move on and starting dating random people. You will feel crazy and obsessed. You will feel delusional. You will feel emotionally unbalanced. You will feel like a walking ball of electricity. You will read everything you can about Twin Flames and soul mates, and you still won’t have a clue what you’re experiencing. Nothing will make sense.

You won’t want to kill yourself, but you don’t want to live, so you end up existing. You will wake up every day and it will feel like a curse. You will swear at the Universe/God for destroying the life you used to know. You will resent people who are in easy regular relationships. When you tell somebody you love this person, they will tell you it’s time to move on. They will tell you it’s not meant to be. You will fall into a deeper depression. It will feel like an abyss that you’re stumbling into and nothing can stop you from falling deeper. You wonder how far you are from hitting bottom. You’ve always considered yourself a sexual person, but now the thought of having casual sex with somebody makes you nauseous. So where do you go from here? You have two options: You can allow this spiritual journey destroy you, or you can let it strengthen and change you. You have all the power, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

I am not like other bloggers/Twin Flame experts: I will not tell you what you want to hear. I don’t believe in Twin Flame magical thinking, because I know how destructive it can be. I don’t believe that a spiritual connection gives you a reason to wait for reunion. I don’t think a connection should ever interfere with your happiness. I have seen enough blogs and stories of people who spend years pining over a Twin Flame to know how detrimental this is to a person’s well being and ultimate quality of life. Even if this person is the other half of your soul (if that’s your belief), what happens to you when your twin isn’t ready? What happens to you when they don’t want to be part of your life? What happens to you when they don’t feel the connection the way you do? What happens to your life? Now let’s say you believe that they’re “running”, so you blame them. You think “they’re not ready, because they fear love and they don’t believe they are worthy. They don’t want to do the work. They don’t want to spiritually awaken. They’re in another relationship because it’s easy. They’re not even happy with this person, but they stay because they’re scared of the connection we have.” Okay, that’s fine if you believe this, but now what? Where does this leave you? Ask yourself “What am I doing to improve my life? What am I doing to bring joy into my life without my twin?” If you can’t answer or don’t know, then you have work to do. It’s time to put the focus back on you.

Since the Universe is made up entirely of energy, you have to learn how to work with the Universal Laws. If you focus all your time and energy on this spiritual connection, you will only push the person away and stagnate the energy of the connection you have with them. Basically you have to do the opposite of what feels right. Since the energy of a Twin Flame connection is so powerful and intense, your instinct is to only think and worry about them. But the more you think about them, the more obsessed you will become, and the less the energy between you two will flow. The only way to stop obsessing is to create outlets to pour your energy into. The goal is to pull away the energy from your Twin Flame, so you are able to dive into your passions and focus on your life purpose, whatever that may be.

You have been awakened by your twin, so that you will begin your mission. This mission may be spiritual, but it doesn’t have to be. It could be as simple as “you need to start writing”, or “you need to create a community of people with shared interests.” But it could also be “you need to become a healer, so you can heal others”, or “you need to become a yoga teacher to help people spiritually connect.” Your mission is unique. A spiritual obsession with your twin will only keep you distracted from this mission. If you are currently feeling this obsession, it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. You can slowly pull your energy away from them, which will release the obsession. It may take time, but you can do it. Don’t get discouraged and be patient with your progress.

You may ask “But what about them? I want to be with them in a physical relationship?’ I want to be in union.” This is understandable. The more you balance your energy, which requires lots of grounding and the more you focus on you, that’s when the energy between you and your twin starts moving again. At this point, there will be a chance of reunion. In many cases, twins choose to stay separated. In those instances, a new soul connection will come into your life, and believe it or not, the relationship can be just as fulfilling. Another soul connection will feel like home, just as you felt with your twin. It may not be the same love, but it will be just as beautiful and Divine. Trust in what the Universe has in store for you. But at this point, you don’t have to worry about any of this. The only thing you have to start working on is your energy and yourself. That’s it. Release your fears to the Universe. Ask your Spirit Guides and Angels to take away your anxiety and sleepless nights. Let them handle the heavy stuff. Your goal at this time needs to be refocusing your energy on you and finding your passions and creating new ones. This is how you rebuild on an energetic level after devastation and trauma.

My yoga teacher always says “no rush” in the most calming, soothing voice, particularly during our flow, where everything naturally speeds up. And I think about that phrase outside of class from time to time, when I feel stress and want to rush, or I have that fight or flight anxious feeling. Use those words as your mantra in your journey. Cultivating patience with yourself and your healing is important. There is no rush. You are exactly in the right place at the right time at all times. Do not compare your journey with others. Embrace your spiritual path. It is as beautiful and special as you. Whatever you need, ask the Universe to provide, and if you believe, it will naturally flow to you.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.

Losing Your Twin Flame

 

Written By Catherine

So you met your twin flame and you’ve been through the stages: you’ve surrendered, you’ve healed, you’ve had your Awakening. Now the signs, your guidance and material reality all point to the same end: it’s over. You aren’t going to be with your twin in this lifetime. How do you deal with that, how do you move on?

For most people the hardest part is acceptance. I’ve been asked to write this post because so many people believe that holding a space for your twin means holding on to hope. This delays the last stages of your healing and can prevent growth or change in other parts of your life.

Holding a space for your twin ultimately means forgiving them for choosing not to heal. We all have free will. Some of the guidance for twin flames talks about the “soul turn”; one twin is Enlightened and the other becomes ready and willing to have a healthy relationship. This can happen but your twin can also reject it.

Understand that a soul turn requires your twin to face themselves. They must face everything they’ve done to bring the relationship to its current shattered state. They must face the distance they’ve put between themselves and God.

You know how difficult and painful that is because you did it. Some people find it easier to turn their back on a part of themselves and sacrifice their spiritual growth for the comfort of ego defenses. That is their right. We all have free will.

So you hold space for your twin the way you hold space for your inner child: with firm tenderness. You accept their decision and draw your own boundaries. You reinforce this precious new subconscious belief: I deserve healthy love. You’ll know its working when the idea of reunion is no longer appealing. You’ve realized your twin can’t give you the love you deserve.

You may feel like you are no longer interested in any kind of romantic relationship at first. This is fine, because the relationships that follow your twin flame relationship are going to be very foreign to you when they do happen.

Before you met your twin, when you met your twin, you were really searching for God. You were searching for a Divine reflection of yourself in another human’s eyes. In the “bubble” stage you found it. Now you have a direct personal connection to God. The longing for love and the intensity of infatuation has evaporated because you are no longer looking for God in other people.

This is love without attachment. Now you are attracting people who can love you without attachment, and the two of you are operating from attraction alone. This means that relationships take longer to form or don’t require burning out the intensity to realize there isn’t much there to work with.

Moving on after you lose your twin means focusing on the other areas of your life. The process of dealing with a twin flame or soul connection relationship is transformative. There are mostly likely parts of your life that no longer fit. You’ve outgrown situations and other personal relationships. Rebuild your foundation.

As God brings new potential partners to you, be open-minded. Allow yourself to get to know them and allow them to know you. You are practicing loving from a place of truth. You are learning to hold your truth in the face of another perspective. These are skills that require some development.

Focus on the silver lining. Ask God to show you what good can come from the loss of your twin if you are struggling to see it. For me it is my freedom of expression. I no longer have to condition the expression of my feelings or creativity to provoke or avoid my twin’s reaction, or anyone else’s. When you understand God and you realize how deeply God understands you it is easy, necessary and joyous to live beyond praise and blame.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.

Twin Flame Pain

TWIN FLAME PAIN

Every soul connection that comes into our lives brings with them their own set of lessons and healing. They reflect back to us the shadow aspects and wounds that we would rather avoid. They show up to wake us up, to make us face what we’ve been avoiding. They mirror deep karmic pain that we have made a soul contract to heal in this lifetime. We have suffered many lifetimes, carrying this pain with us. Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s there. It’s buried so deep in our subconscious, in our souls, that we have no idea that we are burdened by such darkness.

That is until we meet a Twin Flame (I prefer to call them soul connections), and all that karmic pain rises to the surface. Suddenly, our past wounds, the heartbreaks and childhood wounds feel so deep, it’s as if somebody has carved us open with a dagger. We feel vulnerable and exposed. We think “How is it possible that this person, this soulmate, I have such strong, loving feelings for can make me feel so bad? How can they cause me so much pain without even doing anything? How can they make me feel so afraid and bring out such intense, uncomfortable feelings?”

These people come into our lives and trigger our deepest pain to heal us and clear these blockages that keep us from truly loving ourselves. Because until we love ourselves, we can’t give love to the full capacity that we are meant to. Soul connections push our buttons. They pull away when we need them the most; they take away their love when it’s all we’ve ever feared; they abandon us at our weakest moments; they make us face ourselves. They strip away all our distractions, so we finally look into the mirror once and for all. For the firs time, we see all our flaws, weaknesses, insecurities, all the things that we have hidden our entire lives. This person walks into our life, then walks out. And we are left feeling abandoned, naked, and torn apart. We wonder why it hurts so bad, why we feel so lost and afraid to pick up the pieces of our lives and start over. We don’t have the strength to begin again. It’s been drained from our bloodstream.

Their spiritual gift to us is to crack us open, so we may heal and shatter us, so we can rebuild ourselves into more balanced, stronger people. As Rumi says “The wound is where the Light enters you.” Like a phoenix rising from ashes, we transform into powerful and magical beings.  As long as we surrender to this process, this will happen. If we fight what the Universe is trying to do for us, we will only delay our progress. For some, it takes months. For others, such as myself, it takes years. True surrender is realizing that the connection is all about you and not them. It’s not about losing a piece of yourself, because you’re already whole. It’s not about them losing you either, because they are whole as well. Soul connections are not based on need.

Need creates imbalance. Between partners, when there is an imbalance, the connection cannot flow and the two have to separate. They repel each other energetically. That is why partners may get together, then have separations as time goes on, because imbalances and energetic blockages come up for people. Needing love repels love. It’s pushy energy that is based on what the Law of Attraction theory would call “lack.” In a soul connection union, there needs to be a balance between the feminine, the yin, and the masculine, the yang. Once it’s out of balance, problems arise. One partner may feel the need to separate from the other until the energy re-balances. Healing must take place before this can happen.

Codependency is an issue that many soul connections deal with. It is sometimes the greatest lesson for us to learn. Learning to love without need, without desperation, without pain, without a constant feeling of longing is what we experience during a separation. Regardless if they ever come back into our lives, we are taught the lesson to love in a healthy way. In order to fill somebody’s emotional cup, we must fill our own first. Our immense, flowing love for a partner can be showered upon them like a waterfall as long as we keep a reservoir within ourselves. We can only love them as much as we love ourselves. And we can never give more to them than we would give to ourselves in order to keep the scales balanced. Once the energy of a connection balances, the tremendous power of love reveals itself.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.

Twin Flame Healing Spell

TWIN FLAME HEALING SPELL WITH ARCHANGEL METATRON

2015 and 2016 seems to be a significant  time for people meeting soul connections. Many have reached out to me here and through my Twitter, regarding their Twin Flame connections. I know this is a painful, difficult process, and I thought I would help people deal with theirs by creating a spell for healing themselves and their Twin Flames. Healing is a crucial piece of the journey. This is a lovely way to help each other through the connection.

For this spell, you will need:

(2) WHITE 7 DAY CANDLES

ROSE QUARTZ CRYSTALS

A PICTURE OF METATRON’S CUBE

A BROWN PAPER BAG

A PEN

 

The first thing you want to do is quiet your mind. Before you cast the spell, relax. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, and let all your thoughts go. If you need some additional help, check out Jonathan Goldman’s music on youtube. All you have to do is listen to the music and CHILL. Once you feel relaxed, tear off a piece of paper from the brown paper bag. You are going to take the pen and write out your prayer of intention. This is where you ask for healing for both you and your Twin Flame. Keep your focus on the healing aspect and not the reunion. If the reunion is meant to be, it will be. Healing is the most important part.

Write on the piece of paper what type of healing you need. Then ask that Archangel Metatron heal and clear your chakras. If you don’t know what type of healing you need, you can ask that the healing goes wherever it needs to. For your Twin Flame, ask that he/she is healed through the loving energy of Archangel Metatron. Once you have written the prayer exactly as you wish it to be, set it down, and prepare your candles.

At the top of the first candle, take a nail or pen and carve out your first name or initials. On the second candle, carve out your Twin Flame’s first name or initials.

Scatter the rose quartz around the candles. Place the picture of Metatron’s Cube between the 2 candles. You can print it from online or draw it. If you don’t have it, you can envision it in your head.

Ask for Archangel Michael to protect you with his Blue Sword of Fire. Then call in your Spirit Guides of Love and Light and Archangel Metatron.

Recite your prayer of intention 3 times. Then light the 2 candles. Thank the Angels and Spirit Guides for hearing your prayer, then tell them to leave your circle of healing.

Burn both candles all the way down. If you need to go to bed, or leave the house, snuff out the candles, do not blow them out. 

Through the power of the spell, you and your Twin Flame will find healing. Healing is a process. You will be guided to different people and experiences. Healing shows up in unexpected forms. You may feel pulled toward a certain group of people, a trip, a new activity, a book, spiritual guides/healers/therapists/hypnotherapists. etc. Healing happens slowly, but it happens. And it’s a wonderful journey that opens us up to a life of joy where there was once suffering. Healing transforms us. It is the greatest gift of love you can give to yourself and your Twin Flame.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.

Embrace Your Twin Flame Experience

EMBRACE YOUR TWIN FLAME EXPERIENCE

[pic: Mario Testino]

Within the Twin Flame community, there seems to be a major disconnect on what is a true Twin Flame vs. a soul mate. I have been living with this connection for four years; and within those four years, I have been on countless message boards, read hundreds of blogs related to Twin Flames, and had the pleasure of people writing me e-mails about their personal journeys. And the funny thing is I know nothing more than I did four years ago when I met my “twin.” None of what I read has really had any effect over my life. The Twin Flame/Soul Mate path was a significant experience for me, but it was something I had to go through to truly understand how these connections work.

I’m tired of reading about the stereotypical stages and the inner workings of a Twin Flame relationship. I don’t want to hear about the runner and the chaser and how the runner will always come back. I don’t want to see that people are waiting for their “twins” to return. The truth is we really don’t know what these connections are.

My definition of a Twin Flame is not necessarily somebody else’s. Did I experience a deep, transforming soul connection that I had carried with me for lifetimes? Yes, without a doubt. Do I think he’s half of my soul or that we share the same Higher Self? Absolutely not. I don’t believe and have never that Twin Flames are half souls, nor do I believe that they share the same Higher Self. But here’s the thing: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVE. You are free to think any way you wish in regards to your personal connection.

I don’t think anybody is right or wrong, because nobody really knows. Yes, people channel information from Spirit and from collective entities, but those channeled messages may not be completely accurate, or the concepts may be misinterpreted. There’s no reason to argue with anybody over this, or try to prove to somebody that you’re right and they’re wrong.

I spent the past four years, constantly trying to push my views down people’s throats and make them see. In my head, I thought I was helping them navigate through their journeys, but I realize now that I was just throwing my opinions onto them, hoping they would stick. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to experience your connection and make up your own mind on what it is and what it isn’t. Call him/her a Twin Flame, soul mate, soul connection, karmic twin, etc. It’s your connection and nobody else’s. You should have the freedom to label it any way you want without judgement or somebody telling you it’s wrong.

There are the people who will tell you that a Twin Flame relationship is easy, smooth, energetically balanced, and everything flows right from the start. There’s no push and pull, no running and chasing, and no separation. And those couples are very proud of the Twin Flame label, and they will defend it to the death. I have seen people in these relationships get so sick of trying to drill into people’s heads the definition of what they believe is a true Twin Flame that they eventually give up and deactivate their online accounts. Some of them (not all) use the Twin Flame label as a badge of accomplishment, or a reward for being spiritual. All they do is argue with separated twins and try to shower them with THEIR TRUTH, which is exhausting for both parties.

Then, there are the others who will explain that a Twin Flame relationship has stages, and many times there is a runner and chaser, and there may be a separation, but the runner will always decide to come back, and when that happens the twins live happily ever after. The two sides constantly fight about who’s in a REAL Twin Flame relationship, and who’s not.

Trust me, the separated ones are already experiencing some of the worst pain imaginable. They don’t need anybody, especially self-proclaimed Twin Flame couples who are together, to make them feel worse about their connections. They shouldn’t have to deal with anybody judging their connections and down-playing the significance of the people with whom they feel them. It’s just not fair to do to these people who are already suffering immensely. Judging their connections and telling them that they’re not Twin Flames is not the answer. It’s not helping them. It’s not educating them. It’s honestly only making the situation worse and exacerbating their emotional pain and fear.

Let’s look at one possibility: What if there are two types of Twin Flames? There are the ones who you mesh with and everything is balanced, and there are the others where the energy isn’t. Because of this, there is no vibrational match between the two people and they separate. Like attracts like. If the vibrations don’t match up, they’ll float out of each other’s lives. Each of those types carry that “Twin Flame” energy, so instead of being one or the other, it’s both. Nobody is right, and nobody is wrong, because the two types of Twin Flames are experiencing the same energy: One is balanced and the other is unbalanced. Balanced energy keeps them together. Unbalanced energy separates them.

We need to start seeking other viewpoints and looking outside the box, finding what personally works for us. It’s okay to read the same copied and pasted literature on a website that you’ve seen a hundred times before and say “I DON’T AGREE WITH THIS. This doesn’t resonate with MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.” Lately, there is a lot of new information that people are writing about related to Twin Flames, and it’s stirring the pot and angering people, but at least it’s making us ponder and question the way these connections work and their true purpose.

My connection is not yours and vice versa. If I experienced something different than yours, who am I to say my connection is more significant or be able to label yours? IT’S YOUR CONNECTION. You’re the one living it, and the anonymous person on a message board preaching to you about their connection compared to yours isn’t. You should be the one who defines it. There’s this really condescending sensibility within the Twin Flame community that your connection is not real, but theirs is. I see it all the time, and it infuriates me.

If a connection deeply affects you, IT MATTERS. Nobody has the right to tell you it doesn’t. Nobody should tell you what he/she means to you, or how you should feel about them. You have the power. Do not allow another person to try to take it from you or make you feel beneath them.

Matt Kahn, a spiritual speaker, says “Judgement is the opposite of Love. You cannot love when you are in the state of judging.” In regards to all the people who write to me or have shared their stories online, I will only hold you and your truth in a state of Love. I refuse to judge. I just ask that you do the same for me.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.

Why Twin Flame Running Chasing is an Illusion

WHY TWIN FLAME RUNNING CHASING IS AN ILLUSION

Whenever somebody mentions a Twin Flame relationship, 9 times out of 10, you will hear them use the words “running” and “chasing.” When a Twin Flame couple meet, it’s sheer bliss. But when they separate, it’s hell on earth. One of them runs. The other chases. That’s the classic dynamic. One twin is always running while the other is chasing them, trying to get them back. The more I’ve thought about this theory, I’m starting to believe that running and chasing is an illusion.

What is running and chasing really? If one of the twins leaves the relationship, are they really running from the other, or is the separation a necessary, Divinely guided event to help each other heal? Is the twin who left running from love, or is he/she creating a catalyst event so the other twin can spiritually grow? It is said that twins must have balanced energy to be together. Once the energy between two twins becomes unbalanced, they separate. If that is the case, would that be considered running? Wouldn’t that be a mutual energetic separation, like if two magnets repelled each other?

 

I always hear people say “My twin is running.” By making this statement, they’re inferring that their twin is to blame and that they’re more awakened, more aware of the connection, and more accepting of love than their twin. They carry a lot of bitterness in their hearts when they believe this. I think it’s a natural emotion to feel when you’re going through the separation. At times, I’ve believed it myself. There is always a certain amount of blame in these connections, whether it’s one twin blaming the other and/or one twin blaming themselves.

Human beings are simple creatures who are ruled by their egos. When spiritual matters collide with ego, there is a battle. It’s easier for us to blame the separation on “running” instead of looking at the deeper reason. One runs. The other chases. And the longer the twin runs, the more blame is placed on him/her, and the more the other twin feels like a martyr. All of it is an illusion.

In my experience, running was an internal process. It had nothing to do with my twin, and everything to do with myself. I didn’t want to face my demons. I was seeing all my flaws reflected back to me, and I didn’t want to deal with them. Because of that, it felt like I was running from the relationship and the connection, but in actuality I was running from the inner work. It didn’t have to do with the love for my twin or the romance we had: IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME. The connection to him was the ultimate mirror of what was going on inside myself.

Think of the connection as a majestic oak tree with many branches. Each branch represents an aspect of the connection. One is “Love”; one is Relationship; one is “Mirror”; one is “Healing”; one is “Spiritual Growth”; one is “Ego”, and one is “Transformation”, etc. Every branch on the tree is just as important as the other. The roots are held by Mother Earth, just as the Twin Flame connection is linked to the Universe. Every piece of the connection is significant. That’s why it’s pointless to focus on one part only.

It’s not a regular relationship. It’s complex. We as a collective community need to stop obsessing over the running and chasing. Running and chasing is just a distraction for our own egos. It’s not real. Even when we think we’re running, we’re not. We’re standing still. Even when we think we’re chasing, we’re not. We’re only trying to find the love within ourselves.

If you are currently dealing with a twin flame connection and need help navigating it, book a Twin Flame Connection Reading or Energy Balancing Session with us here:  http://awakenedqueen.com/twin-flame-connection/

We are here to help you with whatever you are dealing with.  Find out if reconnection is possible or how you can move on. We can guide you in any situation, no matter how difficult and complex it may seem.