Everybody who is dealing with a Twin Flame connection wants to know how you can not only survive, but make it through where you find peace and happiness. The most important thing I want you to know is: IT CAN BE DONE. Not only am I living proof of it, but I receive several e-mails a day from people all over the world, sharing their personal Twin Flame experiences with me and how they made it through them. I hear incredible stories of devastating loss, Dark Night of the Souls, spiritual awakenings, healing, perseverance, fearlessness, and fighting through Ego and old emotional wounds to find a rainbow at the end of a storm.
There are people who argue with me that you can’t have a relationship with another man/woman after a Twin Flame connection. These people are misguided. They let the connection win. Now they’re stuck. They don’t know how to deal with it anymore, so they stay chained to it. Or they tell me that twins always come back together. I see it everywhere: “Eventually the twins reunite.” When? In this lifetime or the next? Who says? Where is this information coming from? It sounds good. But I’ve seen a lot of suffering Twin Flames and it doesn’t look like their partners are coming back any time soon or ever.
Have they ever considered that maybe the Universe does not want them together in this lifetime? What if they’re never going to reconnect? What then? Should they not open their hearts to any other romantic partners and continue to wait for their twin to come back? These people have never moved on from these broken relationships. The journey defeated them. A physical relationship and a spiritual connection are two different entities. They may come together to form a beautiful, harmonious union, but they also may conflict with each other.
If you think it’s going to be easy to find happiness, think again. The process is a BITCH. It will leave you in a pool or your tears, aching because your soul is being torn apart, facing your shadow self, fighting your Ego, looking inward and seeing all your flaws, literally praying to God to make the pain go away, begging Him to release you from the connection’s grip on you, and feeling like you’re dying every day. These people have found peace and happiness: Some are living separated from their twins; some have come back together and are in loving relationships with their twins. Everybody’s story is different.
I would never judge somebody for not choosing to be with their twin. And I would never judge a person for choosing to be with their twin no matter how difficult the relationship. It’s free will. We are the masters of our own happiness and lives. Recently, I have discovered this is quite a polarizing topic within the Twin Flame community. There are many people who believe that once you meet a Twin Flame, you either end up together or you remain separated and are never capable of loving another man/woman.
I have read countless blog posts from people whose twin has chosen not to have a physical relationship with them or won’t even talk to them. The other twin feels rejection, abandonment, and an immense loss while their twins find new partners, have new experiences, marry other soul connections, and start families. They seem to go on with their lives as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile the other twin is devastated, feeling abandoned and rejected. “How is this even possible? We are meant to be together. He/she’s the other half of me. He/she is my one and only soul mate. How could he/she just abandon me?” they think to themselves.
These scenarios happen all the time. It’s sad and it may not make sense to the people who are dealing with these situations, but it’s reality. We’re not meant to understand it. A soul connection is a special bond you have with another member of your soul family. Our Twin Flames are the soul mates with whom we have had the most lives, with whom we have the most karma, the ones who teach us the most and the hardest lessons; they are the ones who push our buttons the most; they are the ones who cause us the most pain; they are the ones who reflect all our karmic issues and emotional wounds; they are the ones who teach us how to love and be loved; they are the ones who clear away the veil so that we see the true beauty and magnificence of the Universe, BUT they are not necessarily the ones we are meant to marry, have 2.5 children, a Golden Retriever, the house with the white picket house in the suburbs. Our purpose for meeting them goes far beyond a physical relationship.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work the way we want it to. The Universe has a plan for us, and it’s not always what we had designed in our heads like the architects of life we try to be (myself included.) If we just trust in the Universe, things would go a lot smoother for us. When we tightly hold onto the reins of our lives, the energy stagnates. Nothing moves. Nothing happens. We wait and wait, and nothing changes in our lives. It’s when we surrender and let go and let the Universe do what it does best is when wonderful things manifest in our lives.
Not all Twin Flame couples are meant to be together. Some Twin Flame connections are not romantic at all! What happens when we love somebody more than we have ever loved anybody in our entire lives and suddenly they are ripped away from us, never to return? Where do we go from there? What do we do next? Do we wait for them to see the light and come back? We have two options: We can shrivel up, crawl into a ball and die, or we can fight our way through the loss, the pain, the misery, the fear, the depression, the anxiety, and do everything in our power to heal and make it to the other side from hell to paradise. Can it be done? YES! A million times yes. Spirit wants us to heal. Spirit wants us to find happiness. Spirit wants us to find love again with another soul connection from your soul family.
But the question is: WHAT DO WE WANT? This is our choice. Do we choose happiness, or do we choose imprisonment? Do we choose opening our hearts, living life out loud, experiencing every wonderful thing we wish to experience, or do we choose waiting, living in the past, closing our hearts, drowning in disappointment, heartbreak, and never moving on? I can assure you the journey is one of the most difficult emotional processes we can go through: It’s a battle we fight, because we know we have to; we know the alternative is no way to live. We see the people who are still suffering decades later, because they gave up fighting, and we vow that we will never let that happen to us.
We are fighters. We make it through to the other side of the journey because we believe that we can. And let’s say we have been suffering for decades, and we can’t seem to get over him/her, it’s NEVER too late. I promise when we decide to fight for our happiness, Spirit will do everything in its power to help us achieve that goal. That was my experience, and from what I’ve heard from others, it’s theirs as well. Spirit wants us to have abundance and joy. These connections bring us to the brink of madness and destruction, so we’ll finally stop trying to control the situation and let the Universe take over. In many cases, we have to hit rock bottom to reach the stage called “Surrender.”
Surrender is allowing life to unfold as its meant to without us acting like backseat drivers telling the Universe where it needs to take us and what routes it should take to get there. If you want to hang onto this connection, you want to wait, you’ll be waiting forever. A watched pot never boils. When you walk away from the pot, that’s when it starts boiling. Let go of the outcome. Let go of what you think should be. The Twin Flame couples who have separated and reconnected both reached the stage of Surrender. That’s why the reconnection occurred. I have an expression: “Your soul mate will never come back to you when you’re sobbing in a corner with tears and snot running down your face. (If it’s meant to happen) your soul mate will come back to you when you’re at your happiest and you don’t NEED anybody to make you happy.”
Years ago, a soul mate of mine left me. I tried calling him, and he would not even talk to me. I called once, and some girl he was dating answered the phone. I was devastated. He wanted nothing to do with me. My heart was shattered. One year later, I decided to go on a date, then we came back to my apartment to hang out, and guess who showed up at my door to say “Hi.” I could not make that story up if I tried, it was so ridiculous. The moral of the story is when I was at my happiest and was putting my energy elsewhere, that’s when this dipshit soul mate of mine reappeared.
Do you want something to happen? Get busy and live life, with or without your twin. And try to have as much fun as you can doing it. The connection is like an elastic band. When we push and chase, the band stretches farther away from us; when we pull away and put our energy elsewhere, the rubber band flicks back.
Some reconnections never happen. Some do. Regardless, we have to keep on living. We must become warriors and push on even when it hurts, even when we think we can’t go on any further. If we keep going and fight our way through the journey, the other side of paradise is waiting for us. If we want it badly enough, we can make it happen. The battle can be fought: We can be victorious in the end.