Going Through the Twin Flame Journey to the Other Side: Part 1

Everybody who is dealing with a Twin Flame connection wants to know how you can not only survive, but make it through where you find peace and happiness. The most important thing I want you to know is: IT CAN BE DONE. Not only am I living proof of it, but I receive several e-mails a day from people all over the world, sharing their personal Twin Flame experiences with me and how they made it through them. I hear incredible stories of devastating loss, Dark Night of the Souls, spiritual awakenings, healing, perseverance, fearlessness, and fighting through Ego and old emotional wounds to find a rainbow at the end of a storm.

There are people who argue with me that you can’t have a relationship with another man/woman after a Twin Flame connection. These people are misguided. They let the connection win. Now they’re stuck. They don’t know how to deal with it anymore, so they stay chained to it. Or they tell me that twins always come back together. I see it everywhere: “Eventually the twins reunite.” When? In this lifetime or the next? Who says? Where is this information coming from? It sounds good. But I’ve seen a lot of suffering Twin Flames and it doesn’t look like their partners are coming back any time soon or ever.

Have they ever considered that maybe the Universe does not want them together in this lifetime? What if they’re never going to reconnect? What then? Should they not open their hearts to any other romantic partners and continue to wait for their twin to come back? These people have never moved on from these broken relationships. The journey defeated them. A physical relationship and a spiritual connection are two different entities. They may come together to form a beautiful, harmonious union, but they also may conflict with each other.

If you think it’s going to be easy to find happiness, think again. The process is a BITCH. It will leave you in a pool or your tears, aching because your soul is being torn apart, facing your shadow self, fighting your Ego, looking inward and seeing all your flaws, literally praying to God to make the pain go away, begging Him to release you from the connection’s grip on you, and feeling like you’re dying every day. These people have found peace and happiness: Some are living separated from their twins; some have come back together and are in loving relationships with their twins. Everybody’s story is different.

 I would never judge somebody for not choosing to be with their twin. And I would never judge a person for choosing to be with their twin no matter how difficult the relationship. It’s free will. We are the masters of our own happiness and lives. Recently, I have discovered this is quite a polarizing topic within the Twin Flame community. There are many people who believe that once you meet a Twin Flame, you either end up together or you remain separated and are never capable of loving another man/woman.

 I have read countless blog posts from people whose twin has chosen not to have a physical relationship with them or won’t even talk to them. The other twin feels rejection, abandonment, and an immense loss while their twins find new partners, have new experiences, marry other soul connections, and start families. They seem to go on with their lives as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile the other twin is devastated, feeling abandoned and rejected. “How is this even possible?  We are meant to be together. He/she’s the other half of me. He/she is my one and only soul mate. How could he/she just abandon me?” they think to themselves.

 These scenarios happen all the time. It’s sad and it may not make sense to the people who are dealing with these situations, but it’s reality. We’re not meant to understand it. A soul connection is a special bond you have with another member of your soul family. Our Twin Flames are the soul mates with whom we have had the most lives, with whom we have the most karma, the ones who teach us the most and the hardest lessons; they are the ones who push our buttons the most; they are the ones who cause us the most pain; they are the ones who reflect all our karmic issues and emotional wounds; they are the ones who teach us how to love and be loved; they are the ones who clear away the veil so that we see the true beauty and magnificence of the Universe, BUT they are not necessarily the ones we are meant to marry, have 2.5 children, a Golden Retriever, the house with the white picket house in the suburbs. Our purpose for meeting them goes far beyond a physical relationship.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work the way we want it to. The Universe has a plan for us, and it’s not always what we had designed in our heads like the architects of life we try to be (myself included.) If we just trust in the Universe, things would go a lot smoother for us. When we tightly hold onto the reins of our lives, the energy stagnates. Nothing moves. Nothing happens. We wait and wait, and nothing changes in our lives. It’s when we surrender and let go and let the Universe do what it does best is when wonderful things manifest in our lives.

Not all Twin Flame couples are meant to be together. Some Twin Flame connections are not romantic at all! What happens when we love somebody more than we have ever loved anybody in our entire lives and suddenly they are ripped away from us, never to return? Where do we go from there? What do we do next? Do we wait for them to see the light and come back? We have two options: We can shrivel up, crawl into a ball and die, or we can fight our way through the loss, the pain, the misery, the fear, the depression, the anxiety, and do everything in our power to heal and make it to the other side from hell to paradise. Can it be done? YES! A million times yes. Spirit wants us to heal. Spirit wants us to find happiness. Spirit wants us to find love again with another soul connection from your soul family.

But the question is: WHAT DO WE WANT? This is our choice. Do we choose happiness, or do we choose imprisonment? Do we choose opening our hearts, living life out loud, experiencing every wonderful thing we wish to experience, or do we choose waiting, living in the past, closing our hearts, drowning in disappointment, heartbreak, and never moving on? I can assure you the journey is one of the most difficult emotional processes we can go through: It’s a battle we fight, because we know we have to; we know the alternative is no way to live. We see the people who are still suffering decades later, because they gave up fighting, and we vow that we will never let that happen to us.

We are fighters. We make it through to the other side of the journey because we believe that we can. And let’s say we have been suffering for decades, and we can’t seem to get over him/her, it’s NEVER too late. I promise when we decide to fight for our happiness, Spirit will do everything in its power to help us achieve that goal. That was my experience, and from what I’ve heard from others, it’s theirs as well. Spirit wants us to have abundance and joy. These connections bring us to the brink of madness and destruction, so we’ll finally stop trying to control the situation and let the Universe take over. In many cases, we have to hit rock bottom to reach the stage called “Surrender.”

Surrender is allowing life to unfold as its meant to without us acting like backseat drivers telling the Universe where it needs to take us and what routes it should take to get there. If you want to hang onto this connection, you want to wait, you’ll be waiting forever. A watched pot never boils. When you walk away from the pot, that’s when it starts boiling. Let go of the outcome. Let go of what you think should be. The Twin Flame couples who have separated and reconnected both reached the stage of Surrender. That’s why the reconnection occurred. I have an expression: “Your soul mate will never come back to you when you’re sobbing in a corner with tears and snot running down your face. (If it’s meant to happen) your soul mate will come back to you when you’re at your happiest and you don’t NEED anybody to make you happy.”

Years ago, a soul mate of mine left me. I tried calling him, and he would not even talk to me. I called once, and some girl he was dating answered the phone. I was devastated. He wanted nothing to do with me. My heart was shattered. One year later, I decided to go on a date, then we came back to my apartment to hang out, and guess who showed up at my door to say “Hi.” I could not make that story up if I tried, it was so ridiculous. The moral of the story is when I was at my happiest and was putting my energy elsewhere, that’s when this dipshit soul mate of mine reappeared.

Do you want something to happen? Get busy and live life, with or without your twin. And try to have as much fun as you can doing it. The connection is like an elastic band. When we push and chase, the band stretches farther away from us; when we pull away and put our energy elsewhere, the rubber band flicks back.

 Some reconnections never happen. Some do. Regardless, we have to keep on living. We must become warriors and push on even when it hurts, even when we think we can’t go on any further. If we keep going and fight our way through the journey, the other side of paradise is waiting for us. If we want it badly enough, we can make it happen. The battle can be fought: We can be victorious in the end.

Sweet Surrender: The Twin Flame Journey

When I was dealing with my Twin Flame connection, the advice that I was constantly given was to “let go” and “surrender.” My grandmother, who is a Shamballa Reiki healer/medium, advised me to “let go, let God” when I told her about separating from my soul connection. But how do you let go when you care so much? How do you suddenly tell yourself that you’re not going to worry about it when it’s all you can think about and when everything around you is showing you how connected you are to this other person? How is it even possible to surrender?

In my experience, the more I tried to surrender, the harder it became. I couldn’t let him go, no matter how much I wanted to. It was as if I was under a love spell that I couldn’t break. It tormented me all day into the night; and that’s how I lived for two years. I just accepted it as a way of life and pretended to be happy around my family and friends. I knew that I had to surrender it to the Universe and trust that everything that was meant to be for the highest good would be, but it was impossible.

Surrender is not something you can force, it just happens. What I discovered is we reach a point where we bottom out; we’re incapable of feeling more pain and loss. All the tears have dried up, and we have nothing left of our emotions to give. It is when we discover that our ultimate happiness and well-being are more important than another person, regardless of how connected we are to them, that we find release and freedom again.

It’s the equivalent of coming to a point in a battle where we can’t go on any further, because we know we are no match for our opponent, in this case, the Universe. We wave our white flag and surrender once and for all. We finally let go of the outcome. And we trust that everything will work out for the highest good, but we also accept that we may or may not end up with our twins. We reach a point where it no longer matters; our meticulously structured fairy tale ending we had once dreamed about fades, and a bright optimism about the endless possibilities of the future take shape.

We were once caged birds, and now we are free to fly again. A new life begins. Doors open. Opportunities present themselves. Loving souls come into our lives. We no longer worry about what will be, and we stop trying to plan out our lives, because we have learned that it is a losing battle. Whatever will be, will be.

As John Lennon said “Life happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

How to Live When You Feel Like Dying Part I: The Twin Flame Connection

For a solid two years since I had met and separated from my Twin Flame, my existence seemed like a nightmare that I could never escape. I would wake up in so much emotional agony every morning that I felt like was dying or wanted to die. It’s not that I wanted to kill myself; it’s just I didn’t want to live in misery anymore. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel pain that deeply.

My heart and soul felt shredded. My stomach was in constant knots. People would try to talk to me, and I couldn’t pay attention to what they were saying. And I lived in silent misery, because the people around me had no idea what I was going through. How could they!

Until you have lived through a Twin Flame connection, you have no clue. You could read a thousand books about Twin Flames and still have no fucking idea. You just don’t know until you have gone through it, period. This is why the experience can feel so lonely and isolating. Because you know if you told somebody about it, they would think you were a crazy, obsessed freakshow, so you don’t say a word. You suffer in silence. And at times, you question if you actually are a crazy, obsessed freakshow. I did many times.

My head was a continuous loop of memories from the past: I thought about him every minute of my day. I only dreamed of him. My world was tinted with reflections of him through all the signs and synchronicities. I felt as if I were Alice in Wonderland, always chasing the elusive White Hare, but never catching him. That was my Twin Flame: He was my White Hare. When I lost him, I fell down the rabbit hole and was taken on a spectacular, magical, and devastating spiritual journey that changed my life forever and opened my eyes to who I was and who I needed to become.

I learned many lessons along the way: relationship lessons, love lessons, and soul lessons. And it was all because of the connection to him.

I cannot emphasize this enough: You will not break the chains that are binding you to your twin in this connection until you learn all the lessons. That feeling of being imprisoned by invisible ties will remain. We must learn our lessons to release ourselves. It is the only way. Cord cutting will not work in this type of connection. Think of the universe as a strict school teacher who won’t let you leave class until you’ve finished your test.

So how do we learn the lessons? We have to become hermits, in a sense. That doesn’t mean we can’t go out and live our lives and enjoy ourselves; it means that we have to find the answers within us through deep introspection. Through that self-reflection, the patterns of our relationships with our families and our lovers will reveal the lessons that the universe wants us to learn and is currently being shown to us by the “Mirror Effect” aka the symbolic mirror our twins are holding up to us to show us what has been holding us back in the way we love and how we receive love.

One lesson that seems to be prevalent within soul connections is: Enmeshment. aka codependency, enmeshment is where you entangle yourself (emotionally and even energetically) in somebody so much that you lose yourself. You only care about what they think, what they want, and you forget about what you want. You will do anything to keep them. You may want to save them. You may want to heal them. You feel as if you no longer exist unless you are together. You think they complete you in some way. You may view yourself as the only person who can help them. At some point in the relationship or even after, you may have stopped caring about yourself and what makes you happy.

Think for a moment how you felt once you and your twin separated: Did you give up living in a sense? Did your whole world crumble because he/she was missing from your life? Did you stop thinking about your own happiness and only focused on your twin and what he/she was doing; what he/she was telling you in dreams; what he/she was communicating to you telepathically; or even what psychic or tarot readings were telling you? Sound familiar? Of course, because we’ve ALL lived it. I lived in a state of emotional/karmic pain, heartbreak, misery, ruin, and hopelessness for two solid years.

You’re thinking: “But he/she is half of my soul! Of course I feel that way! He/she is my Twin Flame!” Yes, and I understand exactly why you feel that way; however, this is exactly how the universe teaches us this lesson. How better to learn this lesson of enmeshment than to face a soul mate who is already literally tethered to your soul! That’s why this lesson is such a bitch to learn. Some lessons are harder than others, but this one is downright brutal. It seems like a cruel joke played on us by the universe. But you have to believe that we were chosen to take on this journey because we are stronger than most.

If I weren’t as strong as I am, I know that at some point, I would have died from it. And I’m sure many of you have felt the same way at times. When our whole word turns to darkness, how do we continue to live? And yet, we do. Because we are stronger than we give ourselves credit, we triumph. The Twin Flame journey may batter and bruise us, but it never defeats us.

The blackness turns to light because we are the chariots of our own destiny. And the love that has been awakened within us by the Divine love we feel for our twin illuminates the world. We are the warriors who make the world spin with Love and Light.