Kundalini Awakening Symptoms

KUNDALINI AWAKENING SYMPTOMS

The term “spiritual awakening” aka “kundalini awakening” is one of those expressions you hear being thrown around, but you may not know the true meaning. Kundalini energy is sometimes represented as a serpent or a goddess, lying at the base of the spine, peacefully sleeping. It is spiritual energy. A kundalini awakening occurs when this dormant energy flows freely up through the seven chakras (energy centers) and leads to an expanded state of consciousness and a feeling of deep connection to the Universe.

I had no idea what a spiritual awakening was until I experienced one myself. I had described the physical symptoms to one of my friends because I didn’t know what was happening to me, and she told me it sounded like a kundalini awakening. It was the first time I had even heard the expression.

Everybody’s awakening is unique; you cannot compare your awakening to another person’s. It’s like a snowflake. Everything about it has to do with how your perceive the material world, then it shatters that perception. My perception of reality might not be similar to yours, therefore our experiences may not resemble each other’s.

Kundalini Awakening Issues

Even though no two awakenings are alike, there are a number of signs that are common amongst people who are experiencing one. Again, the symptoms of mine might be different from yours. You may experience only a few of the signs, whereas another person experiences many. Some people awaken slowly and gently, while others awaken quickly and dare I say, violently. If you are not spiritually and energetically prepared for it, it can be a terrifying, devastating experience. Mine was, but others may have an easier, less harsh experience.

When the kundalini energy hits blockages in your chakras, it creates issues. If you are on the path of trying to awaken kundalini energy, make sure you are energetically balanced. Chakra blockages make for a bumpy, spiritual ride. Your ego freaks out and it makes you feel as if you are losing your mind. I questioned my sanity many times. I was so scared that I was going crazy that I became a hermit to process everything that was happening to me. I only left the house to go to work. I knew something spiritual was taking place, and I knew that my intuitive gifts were showing themselves, but the whole phenomenon scared the living shit out of me.

These are some kundalini awakening symptoms:

1) Prophetic or intuitive dreams 

2) Heart palpitations

3) Tingling in the third eye area 

4) Food intolerances

5) Feelings of vibration and sensations of electricity running through your body

6) Dizzy spells 

7) A feeling of Oneness with all living things and the Universe

8) Energetic (chakra) imbalances

9) Feeling pressure in the head or headache in the crown chakra

10) Night sweats

11) Sensing angels and spirit guides

12) Intense, constantly changing emotions 

At times, an awakening may seem like a curse, but it is actually a blessing from the Universe. It opens our eyes to see the miraculous world of the Divine. As we open them, we spiritually evolve. We grow as souls. We realize that our egos delude us from seeing the truth, which is everything is connected, and we are all one with the Universe. All the fear, anxiety, worrying,  and sadness from our egos drops away as we reach a higher consciousness and we feel nothing but Universal Love.

Love is Love: Breaking Through False Beliefs

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”-  Pablo Neruda

Love is emotion. Love is energy. Love is inside us. Love is beautiful. Love is more powerful than hate. Love is life-changing. Love connects us to our souls. Love connects us to each other. Love is all-encompassing. Love heals. Love transforms. Love breaks down walls. Love is the magic of the universe. Love is our life force.

Love is not hard. Love is not obsession. Love does not hurt. Love is not pushed onto somebody else. Love is not marriage. Love is not monogamy. Love is not possession. Love is not jealousy. Love is love.

Soul mates and Twin Flames teach each other how to love without expectations and to love themselves. When I separated from my twin, I was overwhelmed with feelings of love and Divine ecstasy. Love beat rapidly from my chest; it lit my heart on fire as my heart chakra opened for the first time. I loved him more than I had ever loved anybody. But this was a different love than I had ever felt.

I loved him, and I loved the sky. I loved the sunlit trees. I loved the flowers and the flock of birds flying over me in a perfect choreography, as if they were dancing a ballet only they knew. I loved the world around me. And sometimes that world was so exquisite and enchanting to me that I would find myself breaking down, sobbing. Tears ran down my face because I realized how beautiful the world was around me. My spiritual awakening lifted the veil that had been covering my eyes for 36 years. It showed me that the universe is pure magic, but we’re all just too blind to see it.

The love I felt for my twin had filled my body with so much love that it made me feel closer to God and the universe. I felt connected to everything. And I knew that was all because of the love I had for him.

He had pulled a love from inside of me, so deep and powerful like an ocean wave from my soul, that it completely transformed me. It made me realize that I had never known true love. This was not just romantic love, this was something on a whole other level. This was Divine love. My soul loved his soul. And I knew that his soul loved mine. It was all that simple.

It didn’t matter that we weren’t together. It didn’t matter that he refused to talk to me, or that he was upset with me for ruining our budding relationship. None of it mattered. That was all ego. That was all surface problems. What we had was a spiritual connection, and with that connection came a love that changed my life and who I was forever. And it was all because of something so simple and wonderful as love.

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What You Need to Know About the Twin Flame Connection

Twin Flames meet to heal and transform each other. That is their only purpose. The universe doesn’t care if you have a romantic relationship with each other. You are contracted to meet. What you do with that meeting is between you and your twin. Through free will, each is given the choice to heal or not. Some may choose to stay despite the rollercoaster of emotions and intense love and heal. Some may choose to run away and never come back and not heal.

In the case of my twin, he closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see. That was the message given to me by Spirit. I desperately wanted to heal his wounded soul, but he didn’t want that. Healing his emotional karma meant that he would have to do introspection and inner work, and he chose not to. His life consists of parties and friends; he engages in anything that will distract him from having to look at himself.

Once we separated, he built a wall between us, so he would be able to block me out forever. And it worked. After a few attempts over the past two years on my part to communicate with him, he ignored me. The rejection almost killed me.

Through his rejection of me, I was pushed into the depths of my soul to face my deepest, most painful issues. I was forced to look within and fix the broken pieces of myself. I spent what seemed like an eternity healing my emotional/karmic wounds. I thought the process would never end.

I grew increasingly more depressed and anxious, trying to repair all the damaged parts of myself, with the hopes that through my healing, my twin would heal himself and we would get back together. It never happened. And it will most likely never happen in this lifetime.

I have finally come to a point where I am completely content with that thought. He has chosen his path, and all I can do is to respect his choice. I have chosen my path as well. He wouldn’t be happy with the type of deep love that I wish to have with a man. And I wouldn’t be happy with the type of surface love that he seeks. He is too damaged to truly love somebody. I am healed and ready to love with every cell of my being. Our paths are different.

I see the type of woman he has chosen as a girlfriend, and it’s made me realize who he is. It was the one thing I had never been able to see in the situation. With Twin Flames, you fall in love with their souls first. I loved his soul, and because of that I assumed I knew the type of person he was. I was under the impression, he was authentic, but he was the furthest thing from that.

He tries to be everything he’s not, because he is too wounded to be his true self. Hurt people are frightened to show people who they truly are. He hides his emotions and wears “masks.” For a brief moment in time, he showed me his true self, but it was fleeting. And once he hid it again, I desperately tried to bring it back, but he wouldn’t allow it. That was the beginning of the end for us.

During our fight, I called him out on it. I told him he that he was full of shit, and he tried to pretend he didn’t have feelings for me when he did. I basically said he tried to be somebody he was not so he wouldn’t have to be himself. This is what Twin Flames do to each other: they stir up the shit. They try to make each other see what needs to be fixed. I was basically holding up a mirror to him, saying “You need to fix this about yourself.”

There were mistakes I made that night, and I have forgiven myself. Flying off the handle is never the way to deal with a situation. Pushing somebody to be their authentic selves, or even pushing them to heal themselves is never the solution.

The experience made me learn many lessons about myself, as well as dealing with other people. You can’t make somebody do something they don’t want to do. He did not want to heal. And he didn’t want to give me a chance to help him heal. His soul had made a choice. There was no changing that.

I am sick of reading post after post on Twin Flame relationships, where the twin is pining after the other for years and years, and there is no talk of anything new. Where are the stories about how the twins never came back together, but they found happiness with other people? Does it ever happen? Nobody knows, because nobody ever writes about new relationships. By what I’ve gathered from reading stories online, apparently, you meet your twin, and if it doesn’t work out, you’re screwed, doomed to be alone for the rest of your life. That’s far from the truth, but by the lack of information on the internet, that’s what would they would lead you to believe.

Blog after blog, article after article, it’s the same bullshit: Somebody met their twin; it was love at first sight. Everything was heaven on earth, but then something happened and they split apart. Now one of the twins is in complete agony from the separation and the other one is living life, having romantic relationships, totally unaffected. Sound familiar?

From what I’ve seen, and I’ve read everything there is on Twin Flames, the internet is inundated with only the romantic elements of the Twin Flame journey without any of the reality. Nobody ever mentions getting back together after a Twin Flame separation. And nobody discusses new relationships. So what, you just crawl into a ball after you separate from your twin and die alone?? All the stayers turn into Miss Havisham, waiting for a phone that will never ring, or the return of a twin that will never happen? Give me a fucking break.

Part of the reason why this connection is so difficult, is because there is so little comfort or information available. It seems as if every Twin Flame blog I go to, is just a bunch of copied and pasted crap from somewhere else. Nobody has anything new to say about it. It leads me to believe that the people who are writing about this specific connection have no clue what they’re talking about; or they have never experienced the phenomenon but are trying to to make money by writing about it or by advertising their “Twin Flame” readings.

Let me tell you one thing about “Twin Flame” readings, Spirit will only give you the information they want you to know at that time. In the midst of one of these connections, it’s best to look within for the answers, or connect with a Reiki or shamanic healer to guide you and heal your energetic blockages along the way.

During this particular journey: Tarot readings are not the answer. I love tarot cards, but these connections go too deep for you to be able to get a good reading. The energy between the twins fluctuates so much and so sporadically that your readings will never be entirely accurate. Trust me on this one. I tried reading for myself, as well as getting tarot readings by one of the best psychics in my city for two years, and there were many times, both of us got it wrong.

In my experience, my Reiki shamanic healer, Maura, was able to help me the most.

Maura has saved my life many times during this incredibly heart-wrenching process. She was the one who was able to clear out the last of the negative energy and pain that I had been holding on to since the end of 2011. She is available for distance healing if any of you are looking for a healer who can help them. I highly recommend an intuitive healing session with her. My life would never be the same without her. If you are unable to book an appointment with her, seek out a Reiki healer. It is one of the best decisions I ever made during my spiritual journey.

If you are going through a Twin Flame or soul mate connection and you have questions about the journey, please feel free to contact me through this blog. I will be happy to talk to you about your specific situation and give you some guidance. Love yourself and be kind to yourself.

The one line that I have said to myself to help me heal the past and let it go is:
“I did the best I could being the person I was at that time.”

Image via Last Light Art by Adam LoRusso

I Was a Twin Flame Runner: My Story

Last year, in the midst of my Twin Flame journey when I was in the deepest agony, I turned to a now defunct website devoted to Twin Flames called Twin Soul Revelations for support. It was run by a woman named Skye, who closed that site and opened another called Mirror Spirits. She writes quite extensively on the subject of Twin Souls aka Twin Flames. She knew I was a Runner in my Twin Flame connection, so she asked me to write a piece from the Runner’s perspective. She was kind enough to publish it on her blog under my pseudonym, Belladonna.
Recently, I was trying to locate a copy of it, and Googled to see if it was available online so I could post it here. I was surprised that it had been spread to several websites. However, my name is unlisted. This is my story, and I stand by every word I wrote. People need to know what it’s like to be the Runner in a Twin Flame connection. They need to understand how it feels, and how blinded by fear they are. They need to see how a Runner choses fear over love, because that’s all they’ve ever known.
 
I will be posting more on the topic of Twin Flames, and the Runner/Chaser dynamic. I have been both. I was the Runner, then something changed, and I became the Chaser. My twin is currently running from the connection, but most importantly, he’s running from himself.
 
This is my story:
i was a twin flame runner

I am a Runner. I ran from the connection. It literally took me 6 months to even see that I was the one who was running. What you have to understand about the Runner is they are in absolute agony, and they are being pulled by the energy of the connection, which is absolutely maddening.

I felt my own pain, but I also felt my Twin Soul’s pain. It was a feeling of panic. I would wake up with it, and it was the most awful feeling. The only way I can describe it is waking up from a sound, peaceful sleep and in a matter of seconds, you feel extreme anxiety and this ungodly feeling of loss. Your heart is actually hot and it pounds; your chest is sweating. It’s the sensation of a nightmare where you’re being chased, only you’re awake. That’s how I would wake up every morning.  

Combined with feeling his pain and emotions, I was also feeling this incredible pull towards him. Everything in my body was telling me that I need to be with this man. But, something was telling me inside that I was not ready. Something was telling me I needed to really look hard at myself and my issues and fix myself, so what happened with my Twin Soul would never happen again.

I knew that even if he called me and told me how much he missed and loved me, I would still be a mess. There would never be a happily ever after until I did the work on myself. So I ran. And by running, I dove further into myself (if that makes sense) to fix what was broken inside me.

I stopped going out with my friends and became a hermit. I worked and came home, and that’s it. I was in an emotional coma. I was dealing with the loss of my Twin Soul, the strong energies that were pulling me to him, his pain, my own pain, and to top it all off, I was going through a spiritual awakening: I was a mess.
i was a twin flame runnerBut I also knew this was my time to fix all my issues. I knew I had to run and be myself to do it. I love my Twin Soul so much that I didn’t want him to have to deal with me until I had fixed myself. So I disappeared. I took myself off Facebook, and I became a ghost. I honestly didn’t even know I was running from him.
 
In the meantime, I saw signs every day telling me that this connection to him was the real deal. I felt chased by the Universe. I kept thinking “Please leave me alone! I’m just trying to get over him, and you’re making this really hard!” In my head, I thought he was the one who had run out on me. That’s how crazy these connections can make you. The energy is so strong that you feel like you’re going insane.
It wasn’t until April/May 2012, when I had the realization that I was the one who had run, and I was the one who was still running. I saw everything clearly and I thought about our fight and the way things had played out. And I realized that I couldn’t deal with the intensity of the connection anymore, so I said “If you want me gone, I’m gone.”

I saw it as me giving him an out because I thought that’s what he wanted, but he didn’t. He ended up taking the out because he thought I wanted it. We mirrored each other’s fears. I’m sure by forcing his hand to end it, I broke his heart. I hurt him, but I hurt myself, too, in unfathomable ways. Even as spiritually awakened as I was, I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I couldn’t see that I was the one who had ended it. I couldn’t see that I was running.

Runners leave the relationship out of fear. They are scared to death. They are frightened of the intense love they feel for their Twin Soul. They are so terrified that this feeling of love is one-sided that they high-tail it out of the relationship as fast as their sneakers can take them! But where does this fear come from? The fear comes from deep-seated issues that have plagued this person for not only all of this lifetime, but previous lifetimes.
This is what is meant by “karma.” Karma is soul memory. In our past lives, we experience many things that will teach us lessons. These lessons can come in the form of losing the loves of our lives, being abandoned, betrayal by somebody we love, or even somebody killing us, and the soul never forgets. The pain of all those things resonates within us, until we do the work to clear and heal the karma and the issues, once and for all, which is exactly what Twin Soul connections do.

 

But nothing about the process is easy. It’s incredibly painful. It truly is a blessing, but it will feel like a curse sometimes. It’s the universe’s way of fixing us. With extreme pain, comes change and transformation. During these separations, only until you have seen the darkness will you see the sun. It is something that we must accept as we move through this spiritual journey.
By meeting the Twin Soul, a mirror is held up in front of the Runner’s eyes, and they can see everything that is wrong with them. All those issues of self-love, abandonment, codependency, etc., come to the surface. Suddenly, this person sees their issues, issues that they’ve avoided for possibly lifetimes, and it’s terrifying, so they run, run, run. They don’t even know what they’re running from. They just know they need to get out. And by getting out, they leave their Twin Soul behind. Many of you may blame your Runners for walking out on you, starting new relationships, and rejecting one of the most Divine unions a person can ever be blessed to have, but you have to realize that this is all part of their journey to find themselves. They cannot be with you until they do that.
Some people aren’t as spiritually enlightened, so it’s going to take them longer to find their way back to you. Some people will try to distract themselves any way they can (relationships, drugs, alcohol, etc.) so they don’t have to face their issues, but trust me, they don’t have a choice. They can put it off, but it will happen. You can’t fight the universe.
When I ran from my Twin Soul, I loved him more than I loved myself, because I didn’t know how to love myself, which was one of my issues. True love must come from within before you can give it to another person. You have to love yourself first, or a relationship will never work between you two. There is no way around it either: Once the energies between Twin Souls become unbalanced, you separate, and the universe forces you to balance the energies, whether you like it or not. The only way to come back together is for each of you to work on yourself separately. Only through inner love and happiness will a reconnection take place.
In the meantime, you have to accept that they are on a personal journey, and you can’t blame them or feel that they’ve abandoned you. They haven’t. It all goes deeper than it seems. What you see on the surface is a person who has left you because they don’t care about you, but if you look into the spiritual side, you will see they have left because they love you so much that they have to become stronger just so they can handle the firestorm of love and emotions they truly feel.
They have to be able to look at you aka their “Mirror”, and like what they see. Some of them aren’t ready to do that. Some of them haven’t found the love within themselves yet. And some of them have a deep soul knowing that they’re not ready to be with you. It’s okay. Let them find themselves. And if that involves having other relationships, you must accept it is a part of their journey, as difficult as that may be.
No pushing on your part will ever make them come back. They will come back when it’s time. The only thing you can do is do the inner work, find peace amidst the chaos, and balance amidst the pain and pull of the connection, and love yourself. Loving yourself is the key to surviving this Divine connection. Without love in your heart, you will only experience pain. And ultimately, the pain will keep you from reconnecting. Love will bring you back to each other. And if it doesn’t happen in this lifetime, love will always bring you back to your true SELF.