Soulmate Manifesting

 

Do you want to manifest a soulmate? I have three words for you: WRITE A LIST. It’s that simple! So what does this list entail exactly? Be clear and specific. The Universe takes your words literally, almost to a ridiculous degree. If you ask for a man who will love you, you may want to specify that he’s emotionally and physically available, otherwise you could end up with a man with a girlfriend, or somebody who loves you, but for whatever reason, is unable to be with you. Details, details, details, and lots of them! Make your dreams become a reality.

Visualize this person in your head and describe their characteristics. Who is this person? What do they look like? What kind of personality do they have? Most importantly, describe the relationship you wish to have with this person. Are you just looking for a casual dating situation? Do you want to live together? Do you want to get married? Do you want to have children?

What are you looking for? Envision it, then write it in a journal or a piece of paper. Close the journal or set the paper in a safe place and this is important: FORGET ABOUT IT. Let it go. This is the Law of Detachment. Let the Universe do its work. Don’t worry about when and where you’re going to meet them. Just enjoy your life. Trust that it will happen.

Ask yourself “What does the word soul mate mean to me?” Is your soul mate a compatible romantic partner, or is it a strong spiritual connection with somebody with whom you’ve shared past lives and have karma to balance? Sure, it can be both, but sometimes it’s not.  A true soul mate can be one of the most challenging relationships of your life. 

Lisa Frideborg Lloyd, a tarot reader and blogger, wrote a wonderful post listing the reasons why it’s best not to manifest a soul mate relationship. As somebody who has manifested soul mate relationships by writing lists in my journal, all I have to say is be careful what you wish for. Soul mate relationships can be transformative, but hell on earth. These connections are best for spiritual growth, but can be quite difficult if both partners have unhealed issues.

Instead of using labels while creating  your list, e.g., soul mate or Twin Flame, focus on the person you want to meet and the relationship you wish to have with them. The rest will fall into place. Soul mate relationships can be created with the right person. You don’t need to have had past lifetimes together. It’s not necessary. You want to manifest somebody with whom you are emotionally and physically compatible and share the same goals.

When you compile your list, write as it’s already happening. Everything should be in the present tense. E.g., “She has long, flowing blonde hair. She is loving. She is nurturing. She is emotionally ready for a long-term relationship. We are extremely happy together. We are married.” This is a powerful way to manifest.

Arielle Ford, the acclaimed soul mate expert, who wrote “The Soulmate Secret”, shares a story about the woman who manifested her soul mate through crayons:

“Her name is Gayle and many years ago she was advised by her astrologer to put her intentions for a soul mate into the world by coloring a mandala. She took a black and white mandala and a rainbow of multi-colored pencils and began declaring her intentions while she colored in a space on the mandala.  She asked for things like: finding the perfect spiritual friend and lover to go through life with; a man who is kind to animals; someone who would appreciate her sense of humor; a man who would be accepting and open to her spiritual quest. For each intention she used a different color until the entire mandala became a multi-hued Technicolor testimony to the qualities she desired in her future partner. Within weeks of doing this she met her soul mate and they have now been married for more than twenty years.”

Manifesting a love partner is simple, but being ready to love and accept love without fear can be difficult. You have to ask yourself before you write your list the following questions:

“Do I love myself?”

“Could I love myself more?”

“What could I do to show myself love?”

“Have I let go of my past hurts from relationships?”

“Have I forgiven my ex-partners for their mistakes?”

“Have I forgiven myself for mistakes in my relationships?”

“Am I ready to love and be loved?”

“Our barriers to love are rarely consciously chosen. They are our efforts to protect the places where the heart is bruised. Somewhere, sometime, we felt as though an open heart caused us pain or humiliation…we tried to build a fortress across our heart, to protect us from any cold assault.”

– “A Return to Love”, Marianne Williamson

If you fear love, you attract people who fear love. When you emanate love, all you do is attract love. And that is when your soul mate walks into your life.

 

A Love Like Heroin: Karmic Relationships

Have you ever met somebody, and you were instantly attracted to each other? Have you ever had a relationship that kept pulling you back when you tried to walk away, even when you knew it was wrong for you? Have you ever loved somebody in an obsessive way that just by being with them felt like a drug? The relationship was like heroin. You needed, not necessarily wanted, them in an unhealthy, dysfunctional way. You obsessed and lusted after them. These are karmic relationships.

Karmic relationships have a magnetism to them to draw you to each other so that one or both of you can learn a lesson. They are similar to soul mate relationships, but the karma is usually negative. There’s an edge to the relationship. It feels off balanced in some way. There are usually red flags, but because the attraction is so great we ignore them. We think “How can it be wrong when it feels so good?”

“Whether we like it or not, the Universal Law of Karma constantly brings before each of us the meeting of our past use of free will and consciousness. Thus, what we have done to other souls and they have done to us is reflected in the circumstances surrounding our present relationships and the basic, innate urges, attitudes and emotions we feel toward each other.” ~ John Van Auken, Soul Life: Past Lives & Present Relationships

One of the most confusing aspects in these relationships is we can easily mistake them for a soulmate because it feels like we’ve known them all our lives. They feel comfortable to us. But think of it this way: What if in another lifetime, you were betrayed by somebody which led to your murder? Well guess what, that’s the same guy you’re sleeping with now and the sex is incredible! You feel like you’ve known him before because you have: in another lifetime.

To balance the karma between you, you have a soul contract with each other to meet in this lifetime. So don’t count on this guy sticking around. He’s not the one you’re going to marry. You will most likely end up sleeping with his best friend and betraying him just as he did to you in a previous lifetime. What goes around, comes around. And it works the other way as well.

One of my harshest karmic relationships (I’ve had many) was with a younger man I only knew for three months. When we were together, we would have lovely conversations about art, literature, and music, all the things I love. He was intelligent and charming. When I was with him, I felt as if we had always been friends. But there were red flags that I didn’t pay attention to. I trusted too easily. I thought I knew him, because it felt like I knew him, but I did not.

He portrayed himself to be somebody he was not. In actuality, he was a heroin addict who had been in and out of treatment programs for years. When he met me, he was trying to make a fresh start. I didn’t know any of this. I found out later when he had totaled my car and stole my credit card, social security card, and my roommate’s checks, which he had his new junkie girlfriend cash. He had a criminal record for stealing his ex-girlfriend’s money.

This person whom I thought so fondly of didn’t exist. He was nothing but a liar and a thief. Drugs may have fueled his bad behavior, but deep down, he wasn’t a good person. He used me for whatever he could, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke. And I’m sure he will do it again and again to other women.

I believe to this day that in some other lifetime, I had wronged him in some way. But besides that, he taught me a lesson about being too trusting. I’m the type of person who always sees the good in people. This was teaching me that I had to be careful who I let into my life. All that glitters is not always gold.

I had a psychic read my cards about this karmic connection, and she called him a “snake charmer.” She said that I had beat myself about allowing a toxic person into my heart, but it wasn’t my fault. She told me “Snake charmers fool everybody.” I had another psychic cut the energetic cords that were binding us together, so the karma between us would be finished.

Often times, karmic relationships teach us lessons about codependency. What feels like love is need. And need is not love. One of the ways in which these lessons are learned is by creating scenarios of unrequited love: You want to be with this person; they don’t, and vice versa. Somebody always loves more; somebody is always heartbroken in the end. In a codependent relationship, the more you give, the more the other takes. The relationship is unbalanced. You think by giving them everything, they will love you more, but it usually works the opposite way. Ain’t that a bitch?

Now the universe will keep throwing these shitty one-sided relationships at you until you learn the lesson. I used to tell my friends “All I attract are addicts and alcoholics!” And the reason for that was the universe was trying to teach me a lesson about being codependent. I would lose myself in my relationships and make it solely about the other person.

Addicts and alcoholics are naturally self-centered: It’s part of their affliction. Being in a relationship with one, it’s all about their problems. This is why they subconsciously seek out codependent people to be their partners. And all I wanted to do was focus on them, so it was the perfect dysfunctional, karmic match! So to learn my lesson about giving too much of myself, the universe had to beat me over the head by sending several addicts and alcoholics my way.

If all you attract is a specific type of shitty person, there’s probably a lesson to be learned. Once you learn the lesson, the spell breaks, but learning the lesson is difficult. It usually takes time and several karmic relationships to do it.

People always ask me “How do I attract good people into my life to have healthy relationships?” The answer I give is: “You have to be healthy to attract healthy!” If you’re damaged, you will attract damaged partners. If you don’t love yourself, you will only meet people who don’t love you, or are incapable of showing you their love. In the Law of Attraction, they say “Like attracts like. Lack attracts lack.” When you are of strong mind, body, and soul, you attract others who are. That’s how it works! Only you can break your relationship patterns.

If you’re sick of karmic relationships and want a commitment that’s lasting and solid, start by performing my “Out of the Funk, Into the Love” full moon ritual to release the relationship residue from the past. Out with the old, in with the new. You can do it any time, but full moons are the most powerful periods of the month to “take out the garbage”, so to speak.

Once you’ve done that, start a journal and jot down your relationship patterns. What has been the connecting thread in most of your relationships? How do you show love? How have your exes shown love to you? Once you start recognizing the repeating themes in your relationships, you will see the lessons. And learning the lessons are half the battle.

Image via Fashiontography