Twin Flames meet to heal and transform each other. That is their only purpose. The universe doesn’t care if you have a romantic relationship with each other. You are contracted to meet. What you do with that meeting is between you and your twin. Through free will, each is given the choice to heal or not. Some may choose to stay despite the rollercoaster of emotions and intense love and heal. Some may choose to run away and never come back and not heal.
In the case of my twin, he closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see. That was the message given to me by Spirit. I desperately wanted to heal his wounded soul, but he didn’t want that. Healing his emotional karma meant that he would have to do introspection and inner work, and he chose not to. His life consists of parties and friends; he engages in anything that will distract him from having to look at himself.
Once we separated, he built a wall between us, so he would be able to block me out forever. And it worked. After a few attempts over the past two years on my part to communicate with him, he ignored me. The rejection almost killed me.
Through his rejection of me, I was pushed into the depths of my soul to face my deepest, most painful issues. I was forced to look within and fix the broken pieces of myself. I spent what seemed like an eternity healing my emotional/karmic wounds. I thought the process would never end.
I grew increasingly more depressed and anxious, trying to repair all the damaged parts of myself, with the hopes that through my healing, my twin would heal himself and we would get back together. It never happened. And it will most likely never happen in this lifetime.
I have finally come to a point where I am completely content with that thought. He has chosen his path, and all I can do is to respect his choice. I have chosen my path as well. He wouldn’t be happy with the type of deep love that I wish to have with a man. And I wouldn’t be happy with the type of surface love that he seeks. He is too damaged to truly love somebody. I am healed and ready to love with every cell of my being. Our paths are different.
I see the type of woman he has chosen as a girlfriend, and it’s made me realize who he is. It was the one thing I had never been able to see in the situation. With Twin Flames, you fall in love with their souls first. I loved his soul, and because of that I assumed I knew the type of person he was. I was under the impression, he was authentic, but he was the furthest thing from that.
He tries to be everything he’s not, because he is too wounded to be his true self. Hurt people are frightened to show people who they truly are. He hides his emotions and wears “masks.” For a brief moment in time, he showed me his true self, but it was fleeting. And once he hid it again, I desperately tried to bring it back, but he wouldn’t allow it. That was the beginning of the end for us.
During our fight, I called him out on it. I told him he that he was full of shit, and he tried to pretend he didn’t have feelings for me when he did. I basically said he tried to be somebody he was not so he wouldn’t have to be himself. This is what Twin Flames do to each other: they stir up the shit. They try to make each other see what needs to be fixed. I was basically holding up a mirror to him, saying “You need to fix this about yourself.”
There were mistakes I made that night, and I have forgiven myself. Flying off the handle is never the way to deal with a situation. Pushing somebody to be their authentic selves, or even pushing them to heal themselves is never the solution.
The experience made me learn many lessons about myself, as well as dealing with other people. You can’t make somebody do something they don’t want to do. He did not want to heal. And he didn’t want to give me a chance to help him heal. His soul had made a choice. There was no changing that.
I am sick of reading post after post on Twin Flame relationships, where the twin is pining after the other for years and years, and there is no talk of anything new. Where are the stories about how the twins never came back together, but they found happiness with other people? Does it ever happen? Nobody knows, because nobody ever writes about new relationships. By what I’ve gathered from reading stories online, apparently, you meet your twin, and if it doesn’t work out, you’re screwed, doomed to be alone for the rest of your life. That’s far from the truth, but by the lack of information on the internet, that’s what would they would lead you to believe.
Blog after blog, article after article, it’s the same bullshit: Somebody met their twin; it was love at first sight. Everything was heaven on earth, but then something happened and they split apart. Now one of the twins is in complete agony from the separation and the other one is living life, having romantic relationships, totally unaffected. Sound familiar?
From what I’ve seen, and I’ve read everything there is on Twin Flames, the internet is inundated with only the romantic elements of the Twin Flame journey without any of the reality. Nobody ever mentions getting back together after a Twin Flame separation. And nobody discusses new relationships. So what, you just crawl into a ball after you separate from your twin and die alone?? All the stayers turn into Miss Havisham, waiting for a phone that will never ring, or the return of a twin that will never happen? Give me a fucking break.
Part of the reason why this connection is so difficult, is because there is so little comfort or information available. It seems as if every Twin Flame blog I go to, is just a bunch of copied and pasted crap from somewhere else. Nobody has anything new to say about it. It leads me to believe that the people who are writing about this specific connection have no clue what they’re talking about; or they have never experienced the phenomenon but are trying to to make money by writing about it or by advertising their “Twin Flame” readings.
Let me tell you one thing about “Twin Flame” readings, Spirit will only give you the information they want you to know at that time. In the midst of one of these connections, it’s best to look within for the answers, or connect with a Reiki or shamanic healer to guide you and heal your energetic blockages along the way.
During this particular journey: Tarot readings are not the answer. I love tarot cards, but these connections go too deep for you to be able to get a good reading. The energy between the twins fluctuates so much and so sporadically that your readings will never be entirely accurate. Trust me on this one. I tried reading for myself, as well as getting tarot readings by one of the best psychics in my city for two years, and there were many times, both of us got it wrong.
In my experience, my Reiki shamanic healer, Maura, was able to help me the most.
Maura has saved my life many times during this incredibly heart-wrenching process. She was the one who was able to clear out the last of the negative energy and pain that I had been holding on to since the end of 2011. She is available for distance healing if any of you are looking for a healer who can help them. I highly recommend an intuitive healing session with her. My life would never be the same without her. If you are unable to book an appointment with her, seek out a Reiki healer. It is one of the best decisions I ever made during my spiritual journey.
If you are going through a Twin Flame or soul mate connection and you have questions about the journey, please feel free to contact me through this blog. I will be happy to talk to you about your specific situation and give you some guidance. Love yourself and be kind to yourself.
The one line that I have said to myself to help me heal the past and let it go is:
“I did the best I could being the person I was at that time.”
Image via Last Light Art by Adam LoRusso