Divine Connections: I Believe in Love

Over the past year, I’ve switched back and forth from label to label, trying to pinpoint my soul connection. Is he a soul mate? Is he a Twin Flame? Is he just the love of my life? What is he to me? Who is he? And it’s taken me much analysis, much research, to realize that love has no labels. And honestly, the universe doesn’t need you to label it.

The universe wants you to trust in the power of the connection and how it will transform you if you allow it. Transformation is an incredible thing: It’s one of the most miraculous, life-changing experiences, but you must have total faith in the process, which can be incredibly difficult.

Love is love. It’s an all-encompassing feeling that fills your whole mind, body, and soul with warmth. Why put a label on something so pure and beautiful? The answer is: You don’t need to, ever.

Everybody has free will in every lifetime. Ultimately, you choose who you want to be with, and labels are nothing but words on paper. Soul connections don’t care about your labels. They honor a whole other set of spiritual rules. Only your ego wants to label this perfect connection that’s been blessed by the universe; and it will drive you absolutely insane trying to figure it out. I suggest you don’t even bother, and leave that nasty ego at the door where it belongs.

Your ego has no clue about the spiritual world, and it’s not supposed to: It has other purposes. It helps shape your personality, but when it comes to dealing with Divine connections, it’s a downright nuisance. Your ego will keep you up at night, wracked with anxiety trying to figure it all out.

“What is happening to me?! Who is this person? Why am I so connected to them? Why is it they are the only person I can think about every waking moment of my life? Why am I being cursed!”: These are all thoughts that will cross your mind at some point after you meet this person. And you’ll desperately search the internet and read books to make sense of it. I did – for months.

You may even spend hundreds of dollars on constant psychic readings, asking if this is an indeed a “soul mate” or a “Twin Flame.” And even if the psychic tells you “Yes, this is your Twin Flame!”, where does that get you? Nowhere. You’re still back in the same situation. Nothing changed, except you fed your greedy little ego for a few temporary moments, and now you’re out $50. How do you feel? The same. In a few days, you start doubting what the psychic said, now here comes the extreme anxiety and fear, greeting you once again like an old friend.

You run back online to do some more research. You may even buy “soul mate” or “Twin Flame” books to really get to the bottom of this. You have to know! “Who is this person who is turning my life upside down! What is the label for this obsession?!”

The vicious cycle continues, and it’s only kept you from what you really need to do, which is to work on YOURSELF, and by not working on yourself, you’re not achieving what the universe wants for you. And if you’re separated from your soul partner, until you’ve worked on yourself, you will not have the chance to reconnect with this person. Some will reconnect, others will not. It all depends on choices of the couple and free will.

If you don’t do the inner work, you’re telling the universe “Nope, I’m not ready to be with him/her!” Until you become a rock,  you can never be somebody else’s rock. The inner work will transform you, and in turn, it will transform the connection. If both partners have the desire to heal, they will come back together to do it.

Call him/her whatever you want. All the labels in the world won’t make it so you don’t have to fix yourself. The universe plays hardball whether you like it or not. You either get on the field with your catcher’s mitt, or you spend the rest of the time sitting on the bench waiting for nothing to happen. Love is all you ever need to believe in. It will change your whole world whether you’re ready or not.

The Future Pushes Us, The Past Pulls Us

This quote appears at the end of the book, The Great Gatsby. It encapsulates the push and pull we as humans feel as we struggle between living in the future and the past. We are constantly trying to move forward in our lives, looking toward the future, hoping for the best. But as we do this, we are perpetually jolted back by the memories of our past. As much as we try to move forward, like “boats against the current’, we are always pulled back by an impalpable force.

Our lesson is to live in the present. But our Ego fights it. The Ego is the powerful current in which we battle. We are just tiny boats in a vast sea trying to keep afloat as we sail through life.

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter – tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms further… And one fine morning –

 So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

 

 

My Spiritual Awakening: How It All Began

My spiritual awakening happened as if a veil had been lifted, and I could see something that had always been there, but my eyes had been covered. But there’s something so disconcerting about seeing the world one way for 36 years, and then all of a sudden, viewing it a completely different way. I constantly wondered if other people were seeing the same electric reds and oranges in the sky or the white tufts of cotton clouds that looked as if they had been painted in watercolors. I questioned my sanity many times. It was impossible not to.

You feel so alone. Even the people you love the most do not understand what you’re going through. Some days, you feel like you’re dying. Your ego fights your true self, and your ego tells you that you need to feel a certain way, and if you don’t feel that way, you’re not “normal.” Your true self aka Higher Self shouts it from the tree tops that everything is in perfect order and this is the way that you’re supposed to feel, but there’s the little voice, the ego telling you it’s not. So all you do is doubt the experience, even though it’s happening right in front of your eyes.

The awakening revealed itself to me in magical, beautiful ways: It was as if the mystery of the Universe was unraveling before my eyes. Suddenly, everything felt in sync. Many times, flocks of birds flew over my car as I drove, in perfect synchronicity Repeating numbers and triple digit numbers like “222″ or “777″ appeared everywhere as I noticed the world around me more and more. I constantly heard random conversations that were somehow always connected to my Twin Flame and the city where he lived. The more I recognized the signs, the more I saw. During the first year of my separation from him, the signs bombarded me in a spiritual frenzy of synchronicity.

My awakening was triggered by separating from the man I loved, my Twin Flame. We were so connected that I felt his emotions even though we were hundreds of miles apart, and at times, I sensed his energy around me. Once, I actually heard him say something to me in my head. It was the feeling of loving somebody times a thousand and losing them times a million. The pain of losing a soul partner is unbearable. I’m honestly surprised that I’m still alive: There were some days, I thought I would die of a broken heart and a shredded soul.

Even though we had technically known each for a few months, I felt like we had known each other for years. When we separated, a part of my soul died, or at least it felt as if it had. This was not regular breakup pain; this was an incredible, unrelenting pain that was embedded so deep in my soul that I had never experienced anything even close to it. It had felt like somebody I had been married to for 50 years had died. Regardless of whether or not we are in each other’s lives: We have a soul connection. We are Twin Flames.

Nothing will ever change that. Our connection is spiritual. The romantic relationship that we had was secondary to it. This is a Divine connection. We were meant to meet to heal and transform each other. I like to refer to Twin Flames as “Fire and Ice Partners” because they challenge one another, (as they’re supposed to.) The fire is always trying to melt the ice, and the ice is always trying to put out the fire. This is why Twin Flame connections are not easy and many of them do not last.

These Divine connections will shake your world upside down. It’s a roller coaster, and the only thing you can do is stay on the ride. This is the reason why you can’t talk to anybody about these Twin Flame connections. The people you try to talk to have no clue what you’re talking about, because until you’ve lived it, you have no idea and you can’t even fathom how intense and spiritually charged these connections are. It’s like climbing Mt. Everest and trying to relate to a room full of people who have never been on a mountain. This connection and separation from him is by far, the most powerful and painful experience of my entire life.

It took me six months to process the connection and ultimately, the awakening. During those crucial months, I wasn’t there: I was in an emotional coma. Everything in my world seemed to stop moving, and I fell into an abyss that I finally crawled out of after two years of solid misery and emotional pain. My mind was always fighting it, always choosing to intellectualize the awakening. Unfortunately for me, being in my head is where I feel the most comfortable. I analyze everything I’m going through a thousand times until my head is a jumbled mess.

At the time of my awakening, my ego and soul were not aligned, therefore the two were always at odds with each other. My ego kept trying to deny the spiritual awakening and the entire Twin Flame process of clearing and healing karma. But my soul knew everything was happening as it should be, and I was just where I needed to be at that point in my life. Everything was going to according to Divine plan, but my ego fought it all, tooth and nail.

Now I am learning to live in the moment. It is a lesson for me. I have many lessons to learn, and soul connections and spiritual awakenings make you face those lessons head on. You have no choice but to learn them. You can’t fight the Universe, as much as you want or try. The more you try to resist what the Universe wants for you, the more resistance you will experience. Once you let the reins go, everything will flow.