Manifesting with the Gemini Full Moon, December 17, 2013

This December Full Moon aka “The Cold Moon” will appear on Tuesday, December 17, in the sign of Gemini. Since Gemini is the sign of duality or the “twins”, we can manifest two desires at once. The best thing we can do during this Full Moon is meditate, center ourselves, and write down two items we wish to manifest in the new year.

You need to be clear when setting the intentions. If you want a relationship in 2014, write down “I am in a loving, romantic relationship.” If you wish for more money in the new year, you will write “I have an abundance of money.” Write out the intention as if you already have it.

I enjoy casting spells and setting intentions during full moons, because the energy is especially powerful. Intuitively, I feel as if this particular Full Moon has a lot of oomph and yummy energy. If you wish to boost the energy of your manifesting, I would suggest buying two candles: one for each goal you wish to manifest.

I personally love candles and think they can be quite effective for sending out the energy of what we want into the Universe. The Universe is listening. We just have to know how to tell it what we desire: This is the key to manifesting wonderful things.

Choose two candles to represent the two intentions. For example, if I want abundance in 2014, I’ll burn a green candle. If I want more passion and energy in my life, I’ll burn a red candle. If I’m seeking love, I’ll burn a pink candle. Here is an entire list of candle colors and their meanings. They can be any size candle. For this, two votives would work fine.
 
Read off your two intentions out loud and light the candles. Burn them all the way down. If you have to go to sleep or leave the house, you can either put them in the sink to burn or “snuff” out the candles, do not blow out, and relight them when you’re back.
Take the slip of paper where you wrote the intentions and place it underneath your mattress. Good luck and happy manifesting for the new year!

What do you wish to manifest in your life for 2014?
 

Lightly, Lightly

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.
Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.
Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me.

When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.
No rhetoric, no tremolos,
no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell.
And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.

Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

So throw away your baggage and go forward.
There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,
trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.
That’s why you must walk so lightly.
Lightly my darling,
on tiptoes and no luggage,
not even a sponge bag,
completely unencumbered.”
Aldous Huxley, Island

A Recipe to Lift Your Spirits

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” – Carl Jung

The holidays are approaching: It can be a depressing time for many of us. This time of year brings out our feelings. We reflect on the year, on our lives, our love lives. And not every year is going to be wonderful. Some years are better than others.

We may be dealing loneliness, separations from the ones we still love, or we may be experiencing the feeling that time was wasted. The holidays signal the end of a year. Maybe we feel as if we could have done better, made more of an effort at some point during the year, and we didn’t. Instead we let time slip by us.

Through our perception, it’s almost the New Year, and we have little to show for it; we didn’t accomplish what we had hoped. These feelings are normal, and they happen to the best of us. We are our own worst critics. We mustn’t be too hard on ourselves.

Over the past two years, I’ve struggled with depression. I know the torment and the hopelessness that some of you may be feeling. And through trial and error, I have tried many methods to heal and energize myself. I was able to pull myself out of the abyss. I want to share with you my magickal recipe to lift your spirits.

You’re going to laugh, but this advice was given to me by my spiritual mentor, and it worked! Buy a few items for your home in the color, crimson. 


It’s a deep red. You need bursts of crimson in your surroundings to pull you out of the darkness. There is something about the color that will invigorate you. My cat died last year: I remember staring up at my crimson-colored Chinese lanterns, still feeling somewhat alive. I knew the crimson was having a positive effect. It was helping me through a dismal time.
The next step is you will need to buy a yellow candle. You will think of this candle’s energy as “sunshine” and “happiness.” The energy of the candle will fill your home. Burn it all the way down. If you need to leave the house, snuff it out, do not blow it out, then relight it when you get home. It can be any size candle. 
Buy a hematite bracelet, ring, or necklace. You want the stone close to your skin. It will help energetically ground you and keep you emotionally balanced. The Egyptians called it the “worry stone.” When we’re filled with anxiety, depressed, fearful, our energy becomes unbalanced. Hematite is cheap. You can buy a bracelet like this. 

Here is some more information on hematite.

I am offering these suggestions, because I know they work. If you do try these methods or have any, post your experiences in the comments.






I Was a Twin Flame Runner: My Story

Last year, in the midst of my Twin Flame journey when I was in the deepest agony, I turned to a now defunct website devoted to Twin Flames called Twin Soul Revelations for support. It was run by a woman named Skye, who closed that site and opened another called Mirror Spirits. She writes quite extensively on the subject of Twin Souls aka Twin Flames. She knew I was a Runner in my Twin Flame connection, so she asked me to write a piece from the Runner’s perspective. She was kind enough to publish it on her blog under my pseudonym, Belladonna.
Recently, I was trying to locate a copy of it, and Googled to see if it was available online so I could post it here. I was surprised that it had been spread to several websites. However, my name is unlisted. This is my story, and I stand by every word I wrote. People need to know what it’s like to be the Runner in a Twin Flame connection. They need to understand how it feels, and how blinded by fear they are. They need to see how a Runner choses fear over love, because that’s all they’ve ever known.
 
I will be posting more on the topic of Twin Flames, and the Runner/Chaser dynamic. I have been both. I was the Runner, then something changed, and I became the Chaser. My twin is currently running from the connection, but most importantly, he’s running from himself.
 
This is my story:
i was a twin flame runner

I am a Runner. I ran from the connection. It literally took me 6 months to even see that I was the one who was running. What you have to understand about the Runner is they are in absolute agony, and they are being pulled by the energy of the connection, which is absolutely maddening.

I felt my own pain, but I also felt my Twin Soul’s pain. It was a feeling of panic. I would wake up with it, and it was the most awful feeling. The only way I can describe it is waking up from a sound, peaceful sleep and in a matter of seconds, you feel extreme anxiety and this ungodly feeling of loss. Your heart is actually hot and it pounds; your chest is sweating. It’s the sensation of a nightmare where you’re being chased, only you’re awake. That’s how I would wake up every morning.  

Combined with feeling his pain and emotions, I was also feeling this incredible pull towards him. Everything in my body was telling me that I need to be with this man. But, something was telling me inside that I was not ready. Something was telling me I needed to really look hard at myself and my issues and fix myself, so what happened with my Twin Soul would never happen again.

I knew that even if he called me and told me how much he missed and loved me, I would still be a mess. There would never be a happily ever after until I did the work on myself. So I ran. And by running, I dove further into myself (if that makes sense) to fix what was broken inside me.

I stopped going out with my friends and became a hermit. I worked and came home, and that’s it. I was in an emotional coma. I was dealing with the loss of my Twin Soul, the strong energies that were pulling me to him, his pain, my own pain, and to top it all off, I was going through a spiritual awakening: I was a mess.
i was a twin flame runnerBut I also knew this was my time to fix all my issues. I knew I had to run and be myself to do it. I love my Twin Soul so much that I didn’t want him to have to deal with me until I had fixed myself. So I disappeared. I took myself off Facebook, and I became a ghost. I honestly didn’t even know I was running from him.
 
In the meantime, I saw signs every day telling me that this connection to him was the real deal. I felt chased by the Universe. I kept thinking “Please leave me alone! I’m just trying to get over him, and you’re making this really hard!” In my head, I thought he was the one who had run out on me. That’s how crazy these connections can make you. The energy is so strong that you feel like you’re going insane.
It wasn’t until April/May 2012, when I had the realization that I was the one who had run, and I was the one who was still running. I saw everything clearly and I thought about our fight and the way things had played out. And I realized that I couldn’t deal with the intensity of the connection anymore, so I said “If you want me gone, I’m gone.”

I saw it as me giving him an out because I thought that’s what he wanted, but he didn’t. He ended up taking the out because he thought I wanted it. We mirrored each other’s fears. I’m sure by forcing his hand to end it, I broke his heart. I hurt him, but I hurt myself, too, in unfathomable ways. Even as spiritually awakened as I was, I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I couldn’t see that I was the one who had ended it. I couldn’t see that I was running.

Runners leave the relationship out of fear. They are scared to death. They are frightened of the intense love they feel for their Twin Soul. They are so terrified that this feeling of love is one-sided that they high-tail it out of the relationship as fast as their sneakers can take them! But where does this fear come from? The fear comes from deep-seated issues that have plagued this person for not only all of this lifetime, but previous lifetimes.
This is what is meant by “karma.” Karma is soul memory. In our past lives, we experience many things that will teach us lessons. These lessons can come in the form of losing the loves of our lives, being abandoned, betrayal by somebody we love, or even somebody killing us, and the soul never forgets. The pain of all those things resonates within us, until we do the work to clear and heal the karma and the issues, once and for all, which is exactly what Twin Soul connections do.

 

But nothing about the process is easy. It’s incredibly painful. It truly is a blessing, but it will feel like a curse sometimes. It’s the universe’s way of fixing us. With extreme pain, comes change and transformation. During these separations, only until you have seen the darkness will you see the sun. It is something that we must accept as we move through this spiritual journey.
By meeting the Twin Soul, a mirror is held up in front of the Runner’s eyes, and they can see everything that is wrong with them. All those issues of self-love, abandonment, codependency, etc., come to the surface. Suddenly, this person sees their issues, issues that they’ve avoided for possibly lifetimes, and it’s terrifying, so they run, run, run. They don’t even know what they’re running from. They just know they need to get out. And by getting out, they leave their Twin Soul behind. Many of you may blame your Runners for walking out on you, starting new relationships, and rejecting one of the most Divine unions a person can ever be blessed to have, but you have to realize that this is all part of their journey to find themselves. They cannot be with you until they do that.
Some people aren’t as spiritually enlightened, so it’s going to take them longer to find their way back to you. Some people will try to distract themselves any way they can (relationships, drugs, alcohol, etc.) so they don’t have to face their issues, but trust me, they don’t have a choice. They can put it off, but it will happen. You can’t fight the universe.
When I ran from my Twin Soul, I loved him more than I loved myself, because I didn’t know how to love myself, which was one of my issues. True love must come from within before you can give it to another person. You have to love yourself first, or a relationship will never work between you two. There is no way around it either: Once the energies between Twin Souls become unbalanced, you separate, and the universe forces you to balance the energies, whether you like it or not. The only way to come back together is for each of you to work on yourself separately. Only through inner love and happiness will a reconnection take place.
In the meantime, you have to accept that they are on a personal journey, and you can’t blame them or feel that they’ve abandoned you. They haven’t. It all goes deeper than it seems. What you see on the surface is a person who has left you because they don’t care about you, but if you look into the spiritual side, you will see they have left because they love you so much that they have to become stronger just so they can handle the firestorm of love and emotions they truly feel.
They have to be able to look at you aka their “Mirror”, and like what they see. Some of them aren’t ready to do that. Some of them haven’t found the love within themselves yet. And some of them have a deep soul knowing that they’re not ready to be with you. It’s okay. Let them find themselves. And if that involves having other relationships, you must accept it is a part of their journey, as difficult as that may be.
No pushing on your part will ever make them come back. They will come back when it’s time. The only thing you can do is do the inner work, find peace amidst the chaos, and balance amidst the pain and pull of the connection, and love yourself. Loving yourself is the key to surviving this Divine connection. Without love in your heart, you will only experience pain. And ultimately, the pain will keep you from reconnecting. Love will bring you back to each other. And if it doesn’t happen in this lifetime, love will always bring you back to your true SELF.

Soul Mates

My lovely new neighbor turned me on to this quote after I told her what I had been through in the past two years. It’s a fantastic quote and so fitting if you’ve ever experienced a soul mate connection.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”  – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Image via Calikartel

Full Moon Spell to Heal a Broken Heart

A girlfriend contacted me last night, asking for a spell to heal her broken heart. What perfect timing since the full moon is tonight! This spell is all about healing. We can’t prevent the emotional pain that’s inflicted upon us, but we can actively work toward healing from it as quickly as possible. The universe is always willing to help us when we ask.

This is the spell I concocted for her.

Full Moon Spell to Heal a Broken Heart

I have just the right spell for a person with a broken heart.  I like simple spells, so all you’ll need is 2 votive candles. I prefer the short, stubby ones. 1 blue and 1 pink. Before your spell, you will need to write out a little prayer asking whomever you pray to (God, Jesus, Mary, the saints, gods/goddesses, etc.) for whatever you are asking for. It’s your prayer of intention. Or you could even address your prayer to the universe. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Once you have the prayer written and the candles, you’re ready to cast your spell.

You’ll want to do this spell after the sun goes down tonight. Close your eyes and get into a quiet space in your mind and then when you’re ready, call in Archangel Michael for protection. Think of him as a guardian as you do your magick. Ask him to watch over you and guard your circle with his blue sword of fire. Ask to be enveloped in White Light and Love. Now you’re going to say your prayer of intention that you’ve written. Say it as many times as you want. If you’re happy with once, say it once. Your spell is your spell.

Once you have said your prayer, you will light the blue candle first. Think of this candle as healing your broken heart. Then, light the pink candle. Think of this as filling your heart again with love. Not love from a partner, but love from yourself. Visualize your broken heart coming back together piece by piece filling with warmth and love.

Burn the candles all the way down until they go out themselves. If you need to go to bed or leave the house, snuff them out, DON’T blow them out. You can re-light them when you come back/wake up. But you want to burn them all the way down. That’s the key. The candles hold the energy of what you’re asking for. After you light the candles, thank and give gratitude to whomever you said the prayer to and thank and tell Archangel Michael that he can leave your circle.

Once you cast it, don’t even think about it. Let the Universe do its work. A spell usually takes up to 30 days to work, a whole moon cycle.

Transformation and Death: Scorpio

In the tarot, the Death card represents endings, but it also refers to transformation as well. With the death of something (not necessarily an actual death) comes change. Transformation begins when a piece of ourselves die. It’s not necessarily a negative process. It can be challenging at times, but growing is never easy, especially when we fight it.

Fall is here in New England, and the leaves have changed from various shades of green to a vibrant kaleidoscope of colors. Transformation has taken place. So how fitting that the Death card is represented by the astrological sign, Scorpio, which is October 23-November 21.

We are quickly approaching the end of the year, and Scorpio asks us “What don’t you like about yourself? What parts of your life are creating unhappiness? What needs to change before the new year?” Change is the keyword. Scorpio is notorious for change, whether you want it to happen or not. Sometimes Scorpio doesn’t give you a choice. This is why you’ll see break-ups around this time of year: People are shedding the parts of their lives that are no longer working.

Earlier in the year, I received the Death card in a tarot reading. The intuitive excitedly exclaimed “This is where you turn into a Fairy Princess!” At the time, I was simmering in my own misery, heartbroken, and missing the soul mate that I was separated from. She told me that this was a major transformation for me. And it was, but at the time I couldn’t see it. She said “It will make sense to you someday, and you will completely understand why it happened to you.”

As I transformed, my eyes opened more and more, and with each passing day, I began to realize the purpose of the change within myself. For six months, I had been in a cocoon, healing myself, slowly metamorphosing into a strong, balanced woman, a QUEEN. Transformation is about becoming something you’ve always dreamed you could be. From caterpillars to butterflies.

Cover image via My Modern Met

Trying to Control the Future When You Can’t

During this spiritual transformation, I have been forced to learn some hard lessons. One of those lessons is that I can’t control the future. I can’t control my romantic future. As much as I love my soul connection, I have no control over our future together. We could reconnect, or we could never. I can’t control ANYTHING. I can only live in the present, and let life flow as it’s meant to. The Universe has the reins to our lives.

You can’t plan out your life. It’s impossible. There are so many factors, so many little choices that lead to big choices, destiny and free will intertwine, and the energy of the Universe pushes us into experiencing so many different things to shape our soul. Our lives create soul growth. With each passing lifetime, we experience more soul development.

Spirit does not want to reveal our future to us. Even when you have a tarot reading or see an intuitive, they are only given glimpses of “possible future outcomes.” Nothing is set in stone. You are not meant to know everything that will happen to you. You are meant to experience life as it comes. The more you try to control your future, the unhappier you will be.

Nothing will ever happen soon enough for your liking. You will stop living for the moment and only live for the future. That is no way to live. Life is a beautiful journey. You have to enjoy each day as it comes. You have to experience the joy in not knowing. You have to trust that the Universe is creating a Divine life for you, and the more you trust, the more at peace you will be.

The key to life is finding the balance, finding the serenity, finding the true happiness within your SELF. It is not looking through a crystal ball trying to see what your life WILL be, it is living your life and letting things happen as they happen.

Wishing Upon a Star

One of my favorite tarot cards is The Star. A few months ago, I took a tarot class with a highly esteemed intuitive who had been reading cards for years and years. She said that The Star is one of the most optimistic cards in the deck. It’s a sign of hope, that if bad things are happening now, good things will be coming in the near future. This card is about “wishing upon a star.” What are your hopes and dreams? Where will the future take you?

I also see this representing a person’s spirituality. This is about opening yourself up to the spiritual world and the Light. It’s about seeing the beauty of the world around you and always knowing that whatever chaos is taking place in your daily life will soon be replaced by something better. With chaos, comes change. The rain must fall before a rainbow appears. The darkness must cover the sky before a star appears.
The Star is HOPE. When you receive this card in a reading, you can be sure that life will be changing for the better. It’s a beautiful card symbolizing that the world is truly yours. It all depends on what you do with it.

Summer Solstice

The Summer Solstice signals the halfway point in the year where we need to plant the seeds of our future. It’s about fertilizing the soil and watching our lives blossom before us. It’s a beautiful time of opportunity and letting our futures unfold before us like a wondrous fairy tale.

It’s the beginning of summer, a time to enjoy ourselves and experience life to the fullest. We need to welcome more joy and abundance into our daily lives, and enjoy each moment as it comes to us. We get so bogged down in trying to rehash the past and control the future that we don’t experience the NOW as it should be – as it’s meant to be.

We need to focus on the thoughts, ideas, and interests that make us happy and less on the negative thinking that only makes us feel bad and serves no purpose. Think of the summer as a mystical golden goddess. What is it that you want to ask the goddess for? What would make your life better? What would bring you more happiness?

My Spiritual Awakening: How It All Began

My spiritual awakening happened as if a veil had been lifted, and I could see something that had always been there, but my eyes had been covered. But there’s something so disconcerting about seeing the world one way for 36 years, and then all of a sudden, viewing it a completely different way. I constantly wondered if other people were seeing the same electric reds and oranges in the sky or the white tufts of cotton clouds that looked as if they had been painted in watercolors. I questioned my sanity many times. It was impossible not to.

You feel so alone. Even the people you love the most do not understand what you’re going through. Some days, you feel like you’re dying. Your ego fights your true self, and your ego tells you that you need to feel a certain way, and if you don’t feel that way, you’re not “normal.” Your true self aka Higher Self shouts it from the tree tops that everything is in perfect order and this is the way that you’re supposed to feel, but there’s the little voice, the ego telling you it’s not. So all you do is doubt the experience, even though it’s happening right in front of your eyes.

The awakening revealed itself to me in magical, beautiful ways: It was as if the mystery of the Universe was unraveling before my eyes. Suddenly, everything felt in sync. Many times, flocks of birds flew over my car as I drove, in perfect synchronicity Repeating numbers and triple digit numbers like “222″ or “777″ appeared everywhere as I noticed the world around me more and more. I constantly heard random conversations that were somehow always connected to my Twin Flame and the city where he lived. The more I recognized the signs, the more I saw. During the first year of my separation from him, the signs bombarded me in a spiritual frenzy of synchronicity.

My awakening was triggered by separating from the man I loved, my Twin Flame. We were so connected that I felt his emotions even though we were hundreds of miles apart, and at times, I sensed his energy around me. Once, I actually heard him say something to me in my head. It was the feeling of loving somebody times a thousand and losing them times a million. The pain of losing a soul partner is unbearable. I’m honestly surprised that I’m still alive: There were some days, I thought I would die of a broken heart and a shredded soul.

Even though we had technically known each for a few months, I felt like we had known each other for years. When we separated, a part of my soul died, or at least it felt as if it had. This was not regular breakup pain; this was an incredible, unrelenting pain that was embedded so deep in my soul that I had never experienced anything even close to it. It had felt like somebody I had been married to for 50 years had died. Regardless of whether or not we are in each other’s lives: We have a soul connection. We are Twin Flames.

Nothing will ever change that. Our connection is spiritual. The romantic relationship that we had was secondary to it. This is a Divine connection. We were meant to meet to heal and transform each other. I like to refer to Twin Flames as “Fire and Ice Partners” because they challenge one another, (as they’re supposed to.) The fire is always trying to melt the ice, and the ice is always trying to put out the fire. This is why Twin Flame connections are not easy and many of them do not last.

These Divine connections will shake your world upside down. It’s a roller coaster, and the only thing you can do is stay on the ride. This is the reason why you can’t talk to anybody about these Twin Flame connections. The people you try to talk to have no clue what you’re talking about, because until you’ve lived it, you have no idea and you can’t even fathom how intense and spiritually charged these connections are. It’s like climbing Mt. Everest and trying to relate to a room full of people who have never been on a mountain. This connection and separation from him is by far, the most powerful and painful experience of my entire life.

It took me six months to process the connection and ultimately, the awakening. During those crucial months, I wasn’t there: I was in an emotional coma. Everything in my world seemed to stop moving, and I fell into an abyss that I finally crawled out of after two years of solid misery and emotional pain. My mind was always fighting it, always choosing to intellectualize the awakening. Unfortunately for me, being in my head is where I feel the most comfortable. I analyze everything I’m going through a thousand times until my head is a jumbled mess.

At the time of my awakening, my ego and soul were not aligned, therefore the two were always at odds with each other. My ego kept trying to deny the spiritual awakening and the entire Twin Flame process of clearing and healing karma. But my soul knew everything was happening as it should be, and I was just where I needed to be at that point in my life. Everything was going to according to Divine plan, but my ego fought it all, tooth and nail.

Now I am learning to live in the moment. It is a lesson for me. I have many lessons to learn, and soul connections and spiritual awakenings make you face those lessons head on. You have no choice but to learn them. You can’t fight the Universe, as much as you want or try. The more you try to resist what the Universe wants for you, the more resistance you will experience. Once you let the reins go, everything will flow.