Mastering Your Own Destiny

One expression that I cannot stand is: “It was meant to be.” And I’ll tell you why I hate that stupid cliché, because it takes away our power; it takes away our free will and our choices. In relationships, we need to stop thinking in terms of “meant to be.” We need to start believing in the strength of our own decisions to create the lives and relationships we desire.

I have met two men in my life who I would’ve sworn on my soul that we were “meant to be”, but we were not. What does that tell you about the feeling that it’s “meant to be?”

Now if we break up with somebody who we truly believe we are meant to be with, how devastated do you think we’d be that we’re no longer together? We think: “If we are meant to be together, then why is he/she gone? What did I do wrong?” As we cry our tears and pour out our hearts to our friends, we tell them: “It was meant to be! We are supposed to be together!” To which they nod their heads and listen to us weep, being the good friends they are.

“Meant to be” holds us back from truly living and in times of separation from people we love, it chains us to our past. I have known many people (and have been one) who are dealing with the loss of a relationship, and they can’t move on, because they believe in “meant to be.” We are told that if something is meant to be, then it will happen, but does that really mean? And in cases where you miss your lost love/Twin Flame/soul mate, having faith that the universe is conspiring to bring you two back together because it’s “meant to be” only creates severe disappointment and feelings of loss.

Getting hung up on what you think the universe is and should be doing for you is the worst thing you can focus on. I wasted two years of my life waiting for something to happen. At one point, I was so angry that nothing was happening, I remember thinking “Fuck the universe.”

I felt betrayed by the universe at times. But it was because I didn’t realize that the power to change my life had been within me all along. It was as if I was stuck in molasses and my life was not moving. Nothing new was coming into it. But what I didn’t realize is that we create the new. And we can only manifest new when we let go of the old.

My mind was trapped in a glass case that held all the memories I had of my Twin Flame, because I couldn’t stop holding on to “meant to be.” “Meant to be” was supposed to bring us back together. I thought: “If something is “meant to be”, then it’s supposed to happen, right? All those soulmate/Twin Flame quotes told me as such. He’s got to come back then. How could he not? We’re Twin Flames. We are connected to each other’s souls. All I see are signs pointing me to him! Then why aren’t we together?”

Once I broke through the illusion of “meant to be”, I understood that free will and destiny create a dance together. Some things are meant to happen: Yes, absolutely. We are meant to meet certain people in our lives: Yes! But what we do with those meetings are our choices as human beings with free will. The people we meet have those choices as well. In a relationship, two people’s choices create the outcome.

“Meant to be” means absolute shit. We were meant to meet for a variety of soul reasons, but that’s where it ends. The future is something that you and the other person form together. And if it doesn’t work out, the universe is more than happy to send us another romantic partner your way, if we are open to love and ready for it. We have many soul mates. We just have to know how to manifest them and believe that we can. And when we are ready, they will appear. Once we stop dwelling on the ideal of “meant to be”, we may find love in the most unexpected places.

Image via Bigg World