Who We Once Were: Past Lives Stories


Think of past lives like this: What if you had a dream that affected you so deeply that you carried its energy everywhere? What if you didn’t understand the dream or barely remembered it, yet there were secrets and lessons that lingered in your subconscious. Past lives are like dreams in that sense. In our past lives, we may have played different “roles.” We may have committed heinous acts. We may have loved deeply and lost in the most heartbreaking of ways. We may have killed our lovers, or they killed us. We may have been tortured and killed in the name of religion or war. These are the wounds we carry with us every day, whether we realize it or not. Our soul memories never go away.

As we delve into our past lives through meditation, dream work, shamanic journeying, or even past life regressions, we will discover energetic patterns and karmic lessons. Karma is not a punishment; it is not good or bad, it just is. It is a re-balancing system. In a past life, if a woman abandons her son, in the next lifetime, she will encounter him again, only in a romantic relationship. To balance the karma, he will abandon her. When this occurs, the karma is balanced, and the two people can go their separate ways. The entire purpose of their pairing was to balance the karma.

Past Life Experiences

In a past life, a beautiful woman was constantly harassed by men in the village. She was forced to marry a man who was a brute. She resented him, and feels trapped by this marriage. She blamed her looks and her body for catching his attention in the first place. She lived a miserable life where she felt imprisoned. Now skip to this lifetime: she is very heavy. She doesn’t understand why she’s so addicted to food. She is ashamed of her body and lack of willpower. She goes in for a past life regression, and discovers that she has carried the shame of being beautiful into this lifetime.

Beauty, to her, equates being trapped in a marriage by a horrible man. So she eats and gains weight to hide her looks. In her past life, she felt her beauty had been a curse. Subconsciously this past life affected her deeply. She was born with subconscious programming that her looks would only create problems for her. Once she discovers this through her past life regression, she is able to heal and break this pattern of overeating. She makes peace with this past life and moves forward. Past life regression therapy was the key to healing.

Balancing Karma

In another scenario, a man wonders why he fights with his wife so much. They can never seem to get along, and they have blow-up fights. Together, they’re like fire and gasoline. They’re on the brink of divorce when they decide to go for a past life regression. It is revealed to them that they have had many lifetimes together, and they have killed each other in quite a few of them. This is a wake-up call for them. They both understand what’s been causing so much unnecessary stress on the relationship, and they commit to each other and the relationship, agreeing that they will push through these uncomfortable feelings to find the love that’s been waiting for them for years.

Every lifetime holds a message, a lesson, and an opportunity for our souls to grow and evolve. Not all our problems are rooted in this lifetimes, and as humans we have to learn to accept our flaws and broken pieces. We must open ourselves up for healing and trust that Spirit will help us heal when we ask for it. Our soul wounds do not have to hinder us from having a life filled with love, joy, and peace. We can push through the discomfort these wounds may have triggered to find the waters of Divine healing waiting for us when we are ready to fully immerse ourselves in it.

Beauty in the Breakdown: Letting Go

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell


One thing I learned during my Twin Flame experience was we have little control over what happens in these connections. And the more we try to control it, the more resistance we will face. The Universe has free rein; we do not. We can do our best to fight it, but we will never win. I fought the Universe tooth and nail. I was determined to get my happy ending with my twin. I thought “We are meant to be. We belong together. This will happen. I know it will. How could it not? He will realize how much he loves me. He will see what I see. I am going to do everything in my power to bring us back together.”

The first year after the separation was hell on earth. It felt as if I was mourning my husband, only he wasn’t dead. He was living in another city without me. He refused to talk to me. It was devastating. I felt deep rejection, but I had read so much about these connections that I knew he was reflecting my lifetime emotional issues back to me. It didn’t make it hurt any less. It may not have been deliberate rejection, because there were spiritual reasons behind it, but it still tore my heart apart. When I found out he was dating another woman, it was the equivalent of somebody taking a sharp knife and stabbing me in the chest over and over until there was nothing left of me. 

At some point, I realized that I had control issues when it came to my life. The more I read about the Buddhist belief of “letting go”, the more I fought it. I told myself “I don’t want to let go. He’s my twin. I love him. I never want to let him go. I don’t want to give up on him. I hurt him. It was my fault. I can make it right.” My head was spinning with half truths, hopes and dreams, and negative thinking. I couldn’t tell the difference between my clairaudience and the voice in my head telling myself lies to make me feel better. “He will come back. Yes, he will come back.” I couldn’t let go of that. I was miserable, but I could not let go of that outcome.

I wanted to be with him and marry him. I wanted to live the rest of my life with him. He just needed to come back. I was intuitive, but I did everything I could to push those intuitive messages away to make room for what I wanted to hear. At times, I was delusional. I will be the first to admit it. I believe that these connections are so powerful and so jolting to our whole being, that we may slip into delusion once in a while.

They make us see what we want to see. We believe what we want to believe, because the thought of losing the love of our lives is devastating and too much to emotionally and psychically process. And all the Twin Flame schlock we read online on message boards and blogs tells us how miserable we will be if we permanently separate. “You’ll never love another. You’ll never have another relationship. You’ll always feel as if something is missing.” Then why can the other twin have relationships? Why can they get married and have children? Why are they capable of falling in love again? Nobody ever brings that up though. They don’t want to think about it. “Oh, he/she’ll come back once he/she realizes the Twin Flame love.” Hmm, and how long is that going to take? “Oh, I don’t know but I’m just going to wait. It WILL happen.”

Twins who date or marry another have made that choice. We can respect and honor that choice, or we can resent it. We can let it tear us to pieces. We can fight it. We can hate our twin. We can be bitter. We can blame ourselves. We can we hold on and let it control us. Think of this connection as a river. Do you swim against the river, or do you surrender to the current and let the movement of the water carry you?

There is a book called Things Are Going Great in My Absence, which is a wonderful spiritual guide on how to release stress and worries and live in a state of joy and peace, trusting that the Divine is taking care of everything. I highly recommend reading it. I found it quite helpful and uplifting. It’s a wonderful book to read when life seems overwhelming and heavy. The concept of the book is simple: Let go of the way you think everything in your life should be, and let it flow the way it’s meant to. Stop over-thinking and start living. We can choose suffering, or we can embrace the fluidity and constant movement of our lives.

One of my favorite articles about letting go gives wonderful advice in regards to relationships:

“Hold lightly. This one isn’t just about releasing attachments—it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.

Justify less. I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on if and when things change.”

When I refer to “letting go” in regards to the Twin Flame union, I am not telling you to stop loving this person. No, I am referring to letting everything play out, or as my teacher Maura says “unfold.” Let the events unfold. If you are guided to call him/her, reach out to them. If you are guided to work on yourself, follow that guidance. If you are guided to take a class or read a certain book that is going to help you with the journey, do it. 

Always go with your gut and do what you think you should do, but do not cling and do not try to control the connection. Surrender to it. Let the connection transform and heal you. Take it all in a moment at a time. Letting go is freedom from suffering, which is in essence the key to surviving the Twin Flame journey.

“Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.” ~ Melody Beattie

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.” ~ Lao Tzu

“Surrendering means, by definition, giving up attachment to results.  When we surrender to God, we let go of our attachment to how things happen on the outside and we become more concerned with what happens on the inside.” ~ Marianne Williamson


When the Pain Remains: Opening Your Heart Chakra


What is opening your heart chakra? We have all heard the phrase: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” And there is truth in that statement; however, what doesn’t kill us also darkens our hearts. I think of our hearts entangled in beautiful green vines, full of life and blossoming with tiny white flowers. When the pain overcomes us, when the exquisite hurt envelops us in its blackness, the vines harden and tiny thorns appear, the white pearl blossoms shrivel and tighten around our hearts. The vines wrap around our hearts until we are practically lifeless, and then out of the stiffened vines turned brown, the thorns pierce them and leave behind tiny holes. I’m not sure if those piercings in our hearts ever truly go away.

Even after time passes and years go by, do those tiny holes disappear? Or, do they evolve into invisible scars? We might not be able to see them, but we can feel them. They never leave. The vines and the white flowers grow back: they wind through the tiny holes like serpents in the grass. We are stronger, yet forever marked, branded by the heartache we have experienced in our lives. The pain transforms us, yet we never forget what it felt like to spiral into the abyss. Maybe when we experience deep hurt, the puncture wounds exist, so we can always remember what our heart was forced to endure, how we survived, and how we got through it and over it. But what happens when the pain remains in our hearts?

What Are Chakras?

All of us have chakras. Chakras are spinning circles of energy inside us.  One of those chakras is called the “heart chakra.” When we experience a trauma or a loss, our heart chakras may become imbalanced or even blocked. It’s as if the heart chakra holds all of our sadness and hurt that we’ve been carrying. When there is an imbalance in our heart chakras, we shut down emotionally. We don’t even feel sadness anymore; all there’s left is stagnancy.

We have nothing left of ourselves to give. All our heartbreak has faded, but the rose in our hearts has died. As the rose turns brown and slowly deteriorates, a seed does not get planted. Nothing new grows in its place. The love that we once felt has petrified and turned grey. It’s like an old, dilapidated, abandoned house. There is no more warmth or happiness there. It stands there falling apart, a sad reminder of what once was.

I have experienced this first hand: It’s like you have no more emotions left. You’re consumed in nothingness. Any time a guy would ask me out, I would freak out and push him away. I didn’t want to be touched, hugged, complimented, and I definitely couldn’t handle the thought of somebody having romantic feelings for me.

A man once stopped me on the street whom I knew was going to ask me for my number. I don’t even know how it all transpired. I blocked part of it out. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said “No”, and he said “Why?” And just thinking of the reason why, which was I had separated from the man I loved, made me well up.  Luckily I was able to hold back the torrent of tears long enough to walk away from the guy. I ran to a bench overlooking the harbor and sobbed. Those tears were the first I had cried in months. At that point, I realized how far gone I was. 

How was I ever supposed to date again if that kept happening? It had been two years since my breakup and I was still wallowing in the mud. My heart was battered. My heart chakra was blocked. I had spent two years lingering in the disappointment from the past. I had no love or affection to give anybody, even my family. I didn’t want to hug anybody, and when they hugged me, I shrunk and stiffened in their arms. I felt like a robot. I didn’t care about anything. And each day felt like the same day. One day bled into the next.

I had never realized how much the love that we put out into the Universe affects us until the love inside of me disappeared. I was uncomfortably numb. I was miserable. I knew I wasn’t living, I was just existing. But I also understood how damaged I was from all the heartbreak I had experienced with my soul connection. My heart needed healing.

Techniques to Heal Your Heart Chakra

I bought several chunks of raw rose quartz and at night, I would sleep with a few of them under my pillow or closely held to my heart. To me, the rose quartz represented pure love from the Universe and holding it against me made me feel safe and loved. It helped but it did not completely heal me. My heart healing took place over several months. It was a process.

Now my heart is open and I’m able to hug and show affection to my family. I’m happy. I enjoy life again. I feel alive. I am able to feel emotions again. It’s as if one day the sun shone through the window of my darkened heart and brought it back to life. The final piece of my heart chakra healing was when I had a Reiki session with my incredible healer. She helped me to energetically balance my heart chakra. I released all the heartbreak and pain. My heart chakra was open and spinning once again. Some ways to open the heart chakra are: crystal healing, essential oils, yoga, exercise, forgiving yourself and others, mantras, meditation, magick spells, and Reiki healing. Pamper yourself, love yourself, and don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. We all have flaws. Accept your mistakes and push on.

A Heart Healing Bath Scrub

Try this “Heart Healing Bath Scrub and treat yourself like a Queen.

Heart Healing Bath Scrub

½ cup of sweet almond oil

1 cup natural finely ground sea salt (substitute sugar for sensitive skin)

10-15 drops of Rose or Clary Sage oil